The Little Boy I Never Knew I Needed

When I became pregnant with my third child I was anything but excited. We were on the verge of a cross country move, deployment pending upon arrival, and I just was not ready to have another baby. I was not even sure that i wanted more than two at the time. I was okay with the idea of only having two babies, especially since they were sleeping through the night.


My husband and I have a joke that we have a nine month "curse". We have always gotten pregnant when the older baby is 9 months old. So it came as no surprise that when Charlee was nine months old I became pregnant with Colt.

D was excited, supportive and ready for baby number three. Me on the other hand, I took some convincing. I was worried about what other people would say about us having ANOTHER baby. I was worried about disappointing our families. I was worried about my sanity having three kids, three and under. Honestly, I did not want to be pregnant.


Luckily those feelings started to vanish away as my belly grew and I could see the excitement grow in my oldest daughter. Unlike before, this time she knew what was happening. She understood there was a baby growing in mommy's belly and our family was expanding. She will never know how much she helped me during this time in my life. A time I was struggling to love my own child.

I know, I know- you are probably judging me hardcore right now. But I never said I was perfect, and being a mother is hard work. I am human and I was scared of the journey I was embarking on. Now, before you go and pull the "you should have been on birth control" card on me, in my defense BC sends me into a Crohn's flare, any time hormones are involved... actually you know what- no. I am not going to defend or explain my choices on why I was not on birth control. Sorry. Back to the story.

I really thought we were having a baby girl. I mean, we already had two and so far in the gender gamble we were 0 and 2. I was fine with that, I knew girls. I understood girls. They have cute clothes, shoes, bows this was my comfort zone. Another little girl was a-okay with me!

Then, laying on a bed, on a random afternoon with our daughter, extended family and parents on Facetime we found out. The technician said "Okay, I know what you are having", I anxiously waited for her to type on the screen the gender-

ITS 

A 

... 

BOY!!

Tears ran down my face, excitement BURST inside of me. A little boy, wow. What a completion to our perfect family. Finally, I get to experience this boy mom love my friends talk about. What a blessing.

They were so right too. From the moment they placed him in my arms I melted. My little boy. He is the most loving, chill, smiley, little guy I have ever had the chance to love. I didn't know a little boy could be so sweet.  Anyone he meets he greets them with a wide, gummy smile. He loves to love.
I pray that he is forgiving when he hears stories of our time together in the beginning when pregnant. I truly had no idea what I was in store for. The love this little boy has brought not only my husband and I but our daughters makes me so emotional. If you want to give your child the ultimate gift, give them the gift of a sibling.

I know there will be hard times ahead, I am sure he will test my limits and patience like only a boy can. I know there are messes to come, ouchies to kiss, and girls to chase off. Luckily, I have help of the big sisters with that one.

I may not always be the perfect mother, but I know I will love him perfectly for the rest of my life.

Small Business Saturday | Scentsy Boxes

I tried something new with some of my customers this week, and I am pleasantly surprised how well it went! A fellow Scentsy sister of mine came up with the idea of a monthly box full of Scentsy products, kind of like a subscription but not really because we do not keep your payment method on file or draft a monthly fee. You can choose to opt in on the box that month or pass! 

So many of my customers stay in the realm of wax and warmers- which is totally fine. They find something they love and stick with it, I do it too! But I wanted to show them all the different things we offer and showing them how affordable they are as well! Nothing is discounted to make a sale, and the boxes range anywhere from $30 to $50 depending on the products that month. Always full size products, never sample size. 

This month we did a counter clean, washer whiffs, scent circle and two bars of wax. It was a hit! I do the boxes for 9 people, but I am sure I could add more if the demand is there for them. I am really excited about this method and I know my customers are going to love it. Its a great way to try other products and maybe find a new favorite! 

The next box will start the end of August and full of NEW fall products from our 2017 Fall/Winter catalog. I am SO ready for cooler weather and warmer, cozier scents! Who's signing up next month for this awesome box! I hope to see your name on my list! 

Friday Favorites | Workout Edition

It can be hard to spend the money to try out new products when it comes to supplements. Some of them are SO expensive. I know personally, I try to keep the integrity of quality with the products I choose but also I need an affordable price point. One income fit family probz. Below are a few of my favorite things I am using that are fairly priced, well, in my opinion at least.

Muscle Max Protein 

I usually HATE protein. I can barely choke a sip down. Like, its that bad to me. BUT this protein- oh my word.. it is delicious! We have tried many flavors, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Cookies n Cream, Strawberry Banana and Chocolate Mint. They were all super tasty! I enjoy this protein because there is not a strong protein taste to it. I cant remember all the awesome things it does for your body that the sales man told me, the taste alone won me over. It is also very gentle on my stomach and sensitivities so that is a HUGE plus!

Hyde Pre-Work out// Cotton Candy Flavor

I like this pre-work out for the pump it gives me, it amps me up quite a bit and this flavor is YUM. I have tried their green apple and watermelon flavors, and they are okay- they have a super sour taste which isn't terrible but not my favorite. This flavor is sweet and taste just like candy, so that works well with my sweet tooth. 

Sweet Sweat

Okay, I was really hesitant about this product. I didn't really think it would work as great as it does, but wow. If you really want to sweat off some water weight this needs to be your go-to! Mix it with an elastic waist sweat band and you are golden. I was so surprised by how much it made me sweat, and amazed that I didn't smell terrible from using it either. I REALLY like this product. 

Chuck Taylors

I LOVE these shoes for lifting. Not for running, lets be clear! They provide great stability and grounding for things like squatting and deadlifting. They help keep your feet flat on, and close to the ground so you can push through your heels. Running shoes can make that process a little harder. Not to mention they are affordable, comfy, long lasting and cute. I have three pair, but not that I am counting or anything. 

What are you favorite gym necessities and what products are you loving lately?

Things Military Family's Need Civilians To Know

There are so many myths and tales out there when it comes to the military and their families.  It can be really frustrating to try to explain our "benefits" and why we have them to people. Trust me, there is a reason behind everything we receive, which honestly isn't much and nothing to be seriously jealous of. But if you find yourself green with envy, remember you can always visit your local recruiting office and sign up to receive the same things we get. There is also a level of ignorance when it comes to comments people make about military life, things people probably wouldn't ask or say to joe-blow on the street.

1. Yes- we get a housing allotment, and free health care. But its nothing to write home about.

What you probably don't know is that without that housing allotment there would be NO WAY a lot of us would able to afford to pay rent. Have you ever seen the base pay for a soldier? Google it, and then let me know what you think. There is not always enough houses on post for soldiers and their families, leading majority of families to live off post. Even if you choose to live on post, the military takes that housing allotment back. The healthcare. Yes, we get free health care but that means ONLY going to military clinics, ONLY going to military hospitals, NO urgent care visits allowed, NO specialty doctors with out a lengthy referral process. Its not that great. 

2. STOP asking us "what if he dies over there?"

First of all, its completely RUDE and uncalled for. Every wife who sends her husband off on a deployment is fully aware of the possibility that he is not coming home. Its a mental battle that we deal with and have to push to the back of our mind. Please, for the love of all things holy, DO NOT remind a spouse that their soldier may not come home. It would just as shocking if we were to ask you "what if your husband dies today?" while working a garbage truck shift. Catch my drift?

3. We DO NOT get paid for having children. 

Although I wish we did, diapers are expensive! ha.  But no, this is a total myth. I am sure many people believe thats why I have shot three babies out back to back, but the only thing we get for them is a bedroom upgrade in post housing. 

4. Its not a glamorous life that we live. 

Military life is not a ray of sunshine. A lot of the time wives are alone, raising babies, keeping the house going while their husband is away. Even if your husband is home the likely hood of seeing him a ton is slim. Between field problems, ranges, training, and the list goes on, our husbands are gone more than they are home. Now, can you imagine marrying someone and knowing their job comes first, ALWAYS. Its not an easy pill to swallow. Plans get ruined so you stop making them. Parents miss birthdays and holidays, even births of their children. Soldiers get stressed out about work or even PTSD which causes problems in marriages. Its not always an easy ride for us.

5. Moving around the world is not as fun as it looks. 

A lot of people are envious about the places we get to travel, and yes I agree, the military can send you to some really cool places. Now remember that after about three years you will come down on orders to move again. Usually right as we get used to the place we are living, have made good friends, the kids are in school, we maybe even have a decent job. You have to pack up, leave and start all over. Again, and again, and again.  It can be exhausting and taxing on friendships, not to mention if you are extremely far away from family it could be years until you could plan a visit. 

6. Our soldiers love their country.

Even if you are bitter about the life we live, our soldier is still going to defend your right to feel that way. He will still wake up, lace up his boots, put on his maroon beret and walk out the door away from HIS family to protect YOURS. They will never give up on America and the freedoms we have. 

Soldiers didn't set up a list of demands upon joining the military, the government decided what benefits they would receive. Before you judge a military family for having something you don't, take a step back and maybe think to yourself the many reasons WHY they have those. A housing allotment and free health care are NOT worth someones life, but thats the wager we are living with.

Quick, Easy and Tasty Meal Prep

If you are like me, you need recipes that are fast, filling, easy and that taste good. I am a HUGE foodie, I love to eat GOOD food. So when making meal preps I knew I had to carry that over to the things I was preparing myself. Especially when I am eating it all week long. I am not the girl who can do chicken and rice and broccoli twenty-four-seven. If you are, more power to you, honey! But for me, I need variety, I need flavor, I need things that don't seem like I am restricting myself. Because I know myself and I will binge on every type of carb and sugar known to man if I do. I am not dieting, I am not counting macro's, I am not doing KETO.. none of that. I just am taking steps towards better eating habits and controlling my Crohn's. If you are using any of those I am sure you can take any of my recipes and make them work towards whichever specific diet you are doing. 

This week my menu is:

Breakfast- Boiled eggs, avocado and whole wheat english muffin. 

Lunch- Sausage, Asparagus and Sweet Potato

Dinner- Enchilada bowl. (this has shredded beef, brown rice, pinto beans, corn, bell peppers and red enchilada sauce. SO GOOD)

The recipe I am going to share with y'all today is the sausage and veggie's meal. 

When I tell you this recipe is SO easy that my THREE year old could make it, I am not kidding. 

I get mini sweet potatoes that come in a microwavable bag. I throw the bag in for eight minutes and while that was cooking I put the asparagus in the oven. I sprayed it with some light olive oil and seasoned with pink sea salt, cracked black pepper and onion powder (shh, don't tell my husband-he HATES onion). I cooked them for probably about 12 minutes? I wasn't really counting since they will get nuked in the microwave when ready to eat. Once the potatoes are done all thats left to do is assemble your meal. In my container I put one sausage, one or two potatoes depending on the size, and some asparagus. Done. 

Told you it was easy!

You can tweak it to accommodate you and your family, its a very versatile recipe. I have made it with colored fingerling potatoes, zucchini and spicy sausage before. Super good as well! Its also pretty easy to get my kids to eat this because they think its a hot dog, which I guess they are kinda right. But who cares what it is as long as they are eating! If you try this recipe out, let me know how you like it! Let me know how you manipulate it to fit your taste! I am always open to trying new things!! 

That time I tried a spin class

 Okay, story time friends. A couple years ago, early in my marriage I was going to the gym to kill time. I didn't have a job and we just moved to a new Army post that had an awesome gym. One day, for what ever crazy reason I thought I would try a spin class.

Biggest.
Mistake.
Ever.

I thought it would be easy. I mean, it looked easy enough. Get on the bike. Pedal, sweat, go home. I was wrong, y'all. So, so, sooo wrong.

First- I walk in and I'm already intimidated. There is a man in the front with all his biking gear on and a microphone taped to his face.
"Pick a seat in the back, that way no one can see you" was my logic.
Luckily there were still a couple bikes back there, I think a few other ladies had my same idea.
I throw one leg over and go to straddle this contraption. OUCH! Wtf, did I just sit on a cement block?! Oh- nope, just the seat. The extremely SMALL seat, at that.
If I wasn't dedicated at the time I would have walked out right then, those seats were not made for woman with butt cheeks I'm convinced.
So the lights dim (thank you Jesus) and I board the struggle bus, destination - Fitness Hell.
The man yells something in the mic that I can't comprehend and all the ladies start to pedal. Oh got it.. we're starting.
Ah, just like i thought easy peasy. Then he mumbles something again and the women cheer.. and begin to stand up while pedaling. I hadn't done that motion since I was a child. While I tried to figure out my balance they start going up and down. Up and down. While pedaling. Like it's easy or something. My legs were on FIRE! I could barely hold myself up.
When I tell you this next part, I am not even kidding.
I looked around, looked at the door, looked at the instructor (who was probably laughing at me on the inside) and decided this was my time to get out of there. Spin was not for me.
How do I walk out of here with out looking like a total joke since we're not even five minutes into the class. Legs still on fire, probably about break off, I decide I can't take anymore.
I causally get off my bike, the other women are still having a blast, spinning away, as I try to invisibly walk out.
The instruction says- "hey! Where ya going!"
Seriously. Insert biggest eye roll ever.
I'm on the spotlight. Now all these biker chicks have undivided attention on me and have stopped cheering.

"Oh, I'm just going to use the bathroom" as I slide out of the door and book it down the hall. Well, probably more like waddled from a mixture of the stone seat I had sat on and the assault my legs just took. I guess I should have told him I was going to use the bathroom.. at my house.

And that is how my first spin class went. All two minutes. Not an exaggeration, that's the time. They had a huge digital clock in the room. Yep, two minutes of my body screaming "why are you doing this to me!" It felt like an eternity though.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Spin class is not for me. It's not just like riding a bike. It's not relaxing. It's for crazy people, who enjoy unusual torture.

#PURPOSE

I have taken some time to focus on me and the goals I have for myself in my near future. We all have a calling, we all have SOMETHING that we dream to be. For a while, I am almost positive that I lost that little light guiding me. I got SO wrapped up in being a mother that I forgot about the woman inside. What SHE wanted. Where SHE wanted to take her life. Don't get me wrong, I lovelovelove being a Mother. Staying home with them is honestly a dream come true, but that doesn't mean all my other aspirations have to stop. I am blessed with the opportunity to be home. I gave myself the gift of a home business in 2013 and not to brag- I was good at it. I enjoy marketing, I enjoy meeting new people, helping others grow.

The last couple months I have felt something PUSH me in the direction of finding my purpose. What am I here for? Surely its more than being a wife and a mother. Where am I supposed to direct this DRIVE inside of me to do better, to be better, to LIVE better. I have already taken my stance on changing my health and holding myself accountable for a better lifestyle. Check. I already dedicate myself to being a great mother to my children, and I try my best to be the wife my husband needs. Check-Check. So what was missing? Why do I feel like I am not doing enough.

Well thats easy to answer. Because in my eyes, I am not.

I am taking my Scentsy business by the horns and RUNNING with it. Full force, boss babe, wax slinging, home business marketing, WORK. No longer am I going to sit at home stagnate in my life. You know that quote- "Be the change you want to see". Hello new life motto. I have so many exciting ideas for my business, and I hope you will stick around to cheer me on as I strive to grow. I have every single tool I need to be successful, at this point its blocking out the negativity that comes with social media and network marketing.

We don't have to live mediocre lives. We don't have to live to pay bills. We don't have to wonder what our purpose is. We all have one. Are they all different, sure. Find your purpose, find your WHY and run with it. I promise, you only regret the chances you never take.

Five reasons you need a gym buddy

If you have ever tried working out alone you know it can prove to be a challenge at times. At least it is for me! I know there is no way I could ever get a decent work out in by myself, especially since I am still learning so much about lifting. I would be all over the gym, literally. Bouncing from machine to machine. Thank the good lord for husbands who gym! Mine has become my favorite gym partner.

You need someone to push you.

We all have our days when our head is just not in it, you need that person who is going to motivate you and push you to finish. Who will help you set new personal records and drive you to be better than you were yesterday.

Sometimes you'll need a spotter. 

If you are going hard in the gym chances are at some point you are going to need a spot. Don't be crazy and hurt yourself trying to out do it, if you need help getting the weight up ask your friend to spot you! Heck, even my husband ask me to spot him here and there- I am not confident in the fact that I could be of any help if he needed it, but I think its just a mental thing for him when he is going REALLY heavy. 

You can learn new techniques. 

Everyone does things a little different than the next person. I have learnt SO much from working out with my husband. While I love working out with him, I am eager to meet new people and learn things from their work out. 

Accountability. 

Its easy to give up on yourself and goals when its only you watching. Having a person to hold you accountable helps a TON! A gym friend will be there to make sure you don't bail on working out that day because they are counting on you to go with them. 

Its a good time to catch up. 

Life gets hectic and some times its hard to make time to see our friends. Working out with them makes this a bit easier to do. You are getting your exercise in to be physically healthier and your getting time to socialize with people you love which helps you mentally. Killing two birds with one stone. 

Maybe you are the type of person who enjoys working out alone, which is totally fine. I personally KNOW I need a gym buddy, I am much more productive when I have some one there to help push me through out my workout. Plus, when you spend all day home with toddlers, you NEEEED some adult conversation while lifting some heavy weights. Which ever you prefer, the important part is that  you got your work out in.

Drop a comment below, which do you prefer? Working out alone or with a partner?

We all struggle.

Life is not always easy. There are obstacles in every aspect of living. Whether its fitness or mental, mothering or wifing, challenges present themselves. With social media these days it is easy to only show the amazing things going on. We get to show our highlight reel of our everyday life. What we don't show are the struggles.

I may seem to have it all together, all the time- but I promise you that is SO far from the truth. I struggle to love myself sometimes, I am sure just like many women do. Its hard to remember that I am in the gym for progress and not perfection. I don't always eat the best or right things for my body or fitness goals. My marriage is not rainbows and cupcakes twenty-four-seven. There are times I am SURE my husband will pack up and leave. My kids call me mean mommy here and there, okay, daily.

But.
You know what.

Its not how we struggle, its how we overcome.

You are what you think, ya know, just like eating. You HAVE to put positive thoughts in your head and KEEP them there. I for one know how hard this can be to do. I still am learning how to perfect this. We cant dwell on things that are going wrong, what we can do is look for the positives in every situation and a solution.

You have to make the choice to either MOVE in a better direction or stay stuck in negativity. You are going to have bad days, that is just human nature. How you choose to over come them though, thats a personal choice.

Its only Wednesday and this week for me has already been a doozy. I woke up this morning ready to throw in the towel.. with everything. My head was full to the brim of every negative thought a person could think. But, I had to make the choice. Was I going to sit around and feel sorry for myself over trivial things, or was I going to find a solution and make the best of the day?

I went with the latter. I hope you do too when you find yourself having a crappy day.

Mental Health Day

I have dedicated the day to being lazy and mentally recovering. My son is sick with pneumonia. Sunday night I ended up having to take him into the emergency room for a crazy high temp. We didn't get home until four in the morning, and then my girls were up at seven to start the day. Luckily my sister came to help and let me rest a bit but today I still feel a little "hungover" from being sleep deprived. I am not the type of person who shuts down when they are tired at first, I become WIRED and then I crash- for a couple of days. Its horrible. So today I don't have any informational fitness advice or witty mom humor. I am a walking mombie.  Talk to you guys soon, and I promise it wont be long! 

Mommin aint Easy, baby.

Day in the Life of Stay at Home Moms

The struggle is REAL! I have three children, three years old and under. And while everyone may think my days are spent frolicking in the park on our latest play date or eating bon-bons on the couch while my children quietly play in the next room, I assure you ... THAT. IS. NOT. THE. CASE.
My two year old insist on giving me a heart attack daily and my three year old is a walking mess of emotion. If one isn't climbing the bookshelf, the other is hysterical because she has nipples. There is no in between, it's one chaotic mess after another. All day long. My only saving grace of sanity is a chubby five month old who throws up on me every twenty minutes.
If this doesn't paint the perfect picture of craziness in my life well enough for you, let me break it down.
7:00am The baby usually wakes up. He is a pretty happy baby, so I let him lay in the pack and play in hopes the older spawns will sleep until 7:30 or 8:00. Sometimes I sleep with them, other times I go to the bathroom alone. The only opportunity I'll have all day likely.
8:00am The girls are up. I beg them to eat something for breakfast. They refuse. Only a cup of milk and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse reruns we've been watching for two years will do.

8:30am they are distracted enough that I can pick up around the house.. I usually get everything cleaned up until I hit the laundry bomb that exploded in my room.
8:31am Close the bedroom door and consider burning the house down so I never have to do laundry again.
8:35am decide against arson... today.
9:00am Remind myself I need to eat breakfast.. feed the baby, bribe the girls into breakfast. Still forget to feed myself.
10:00am One is begging to finger paint. The other is running around naked. We negotiate to color instead.

10:30am Silence in the playroom. Baby asleep on my chest. The instant mom intuition kicks in- they are up to no good.
10:32 summon oldest into playroom. Marker covers her from toes to nose. In runs the little one, she's blue.
11:00am Wipe both off with 2736282 baby wipes, and now their starving from refusing food earlier. Time to make their favorite meal, "I don't like that!".

12:00am Somedays they eat lunch, other days they each couch snacks. Ya know, the little bits that fell into the cracks.
12:30am Every toy that I cleaned up earlier is back in the living room. Milk spilled in the kitchen. The dog is eating their lunch. Why do I even clean?

1:00pm 3:00pm FORCED NAP TIME. Aka mommy heaven, lots of baby brother chest snuggles. Reality television shows and all the food I didn't want to share with the vultures.
3:05pm The spawns awaken. Cranky.
3:05-3:25pm Cry about everything while I attempt to figure out what exactly is wrong.

3:30pm Trolls. Moana. Minions whatever tickles their fancy and a smorgasbord of snacks to calm the hangry storm.
4:00-5:00pm Somewhere between this time my husband comes home and everyone acts like little angels because, well..Daddy is awesome.
5:30pm -7:00 We get ready, go to the gym and I get TWO glorious hours of alone time, time to take my aggression out from the terrors of toddlers. Yet I oddly miss them? What is wrong with me!

7:30pm Dinner time. If they are starving they will eat. But it has to be the food off MY plate. Their food is for the dog, duh.
8:00pm Bath time, again. The easiest part of my day. Unless of course the little one needs her hair washed. Then it's like alligator wrestling in my very own bathroom. Maybe I could start charging an entry fee and inviting others?

8:30pm We roll into bed and listen to "you are my sunshine" on repeat. For. Thirty. Minutes. This is when the two year old wants to spill all her secrets in her special toddler language, wake the baby up, and then throw a huge fit so she can cry herself to sleep.
9:00-10:00pm mandatory stay up even though I am exhausted because I need some silence for my sanity, time.
If you see me crying in the corner of my bathroom waving a white flag, join me or hug me- just don't judge me! This gig is hard. Mommin' ain't easy, baby.

Pits and Peaks

Another week is over, and here I am blogging away my time avoiding house work and laundry. Does anyone else HATE laundry as much as I do? I seriously avoid it at all cost.
The PITS of my week.

-Trying to decide a housing community we want to live in on post.

-The stress that comes with moving.

-Not being at the beach this weekend like we planned.
-We had to start buying 9mo clothing for our big boy. I'm not ready for him to be growing this fast!

The PEAKS of my week.

-We had a great BBQ at the pool with our friends and family.

-Colt is sleeping better this week.

-The girls have been in pretty good spirits and fun to be around.
-My younger sister and nephew came down for a weekend visit. It was fun to watch the kids play together.
-We are loving Big Brother this season!
There wasn't much that went on this week. We decided to move into housing on post since our lease is ending soon, we had a few appointments to go to, and other than that it was a very chill week. We took some time off the gym because I wasn't feeling well a lot of this week. Today starts the work out week over for us though, so leg day it is!

Small Biz Saturday Guest Post | Britt's Story

I was always super active growing up, played sports until I was a junior in high school, and never really had much of an issue with my weight growing up either. I never really watched what I ate or drank and have ZERO IDEA on how to really cook anything if it didn’t come from a box when I got married.  When my husband deployed, I went back to our hometown to work at a lifeguard in a brand new gym and found my passion for the gym environment even though I had no idea what the heck to do in a gym. I guess you could say this is where my passion for fitness was discovered, because when I was playing sports I didn’t workout and we didn’t have a local gym unless we drove 20 minutes away.

When my husband came home from his deployment I quickly found everything changing. My working out 2 times a day ended and our eating habits were still garbage.  But that ended up being the least of my worries when I realized my husband was having trouble reintegrating back to being home from a war zone. My main focus quickly changed to making sure he was getting the right care he needed and trying to move past the incidents of what had happened.  Self pitty, questioning what I could have done to possibly make integration easier for him.

A little over a year after everything happened we found out that we couldn’t have kids.  This didn’t help the self pitty, in fact I was even mad at the world and even God for a while. I couldn’t understand it, why everything crappy seemed to be happening to us.  I mean even then I knew things could have been A LOT worse, I was still questioning WHY US, I think we all do that when things we can’t control happen and they are devastating things.  Honestly, finding out we couldn’t have kids didn’t help my already low self-esteem either.  There is no how to guide when it comes to life and getting over the hurdles that get thrown our way.  So I was lost, angry, and not happy with myself in every way possible. Emotional eating became a thing for me, something I had never battled before and it wasn’t good considering I was going through a huge metabolism change too.

We got orders to move to Fort Bliss in 2012 and in the process of the move that was when I meet Kodie. Looking back, I kind of feel sorry for anyone who was just meeting me for the first time then, because no one really knew the demons I was battling on the inside.   But with that move to Texas not only myself but my husband got the motivation to lose the 100 lbs. we gained combined.  We literally woke up one morning and said we were sick and tired of feeling like crap, looking like crap, and our clothes continuously getting tighter. Slowly changing our eating habits and we both started to run and

yes we run for fun. Weight started coming off and at one point I was almost to my weight when we got married which now made me just look sick.  So I stopped caring so much about what I ate again to gain some weight back, it wasn’t the smartest decision I had made.  

Then I was introduced to Beachbody and the 21 Day Fix through a high school friend.  While I honestly only purchased the program to learn more on the nutritional side of things, I decided to do the entire program too in her online accountability group, because I really don’t feel comfortable in the gym.  I had just ran a marathon and gained some weight from it and wasn’t happy.  I didn’t know just then how much the purchase of 21 Day Fix would change my life. I quickly realized how easy nutritional truly is and how complicated we as a society have truly made it.  I was seeing changes in my body that I hadn’t seen in years because of the workouts and I was eating new things in my diet.  But on top of that mentally I was becoming stronger, moving on from the past, becoming happy in every aspect of my life again, learning to love myself truly again, and finding my passion for fitness again.  Then I became a coach with Beachbody because I realized how many women there are out there just like me.  Lost, unhappy with themselves, and no clue where the heck to start and because of that they never even try to start even with a small step.  I realized just how many don’t feel comfortable in a gym, how many truly don’t know that they can work out from home, or even know how easy the nutritional side of things can truly be.

If you are reading this, if you are that woman who is lost, unhappy, and no clue where to start, know you aren’t alone. Know that the small decision to get started is better than the decision to never start at all. You will have good days and bad days that is all part of the process. There will always be someone there that you can relate too cheering you on and rooting for you to succeed. Whether you choose to head to the gym and get a personal trainer, decide to workout at home like me, or get out and start walking you don’t have to do any of it alone that is greatest thing about social media these days!

*Disclaimer- You may recognize Britt from her blog years ago- Aviation of Love. Leave a comment telling her to come back to blog land! She may or may not be on the fence about it! *

Influencers | Finding Motivation on Social Media

If you are reading this the chances are pretty high that you have a social media account of some sort. I  know I have been 'online' since I was in high school. While my reasonings for having social media have changed through out the years, I don't use it the same way I once did, I still have many accounts that I use for different purposes. You know, snapchat for lip-singing with fun filters in the car. Facebook to make sure my Grandma can see pictures of the kids and I can stay nosey in my friends lives. Then Instagram, I use this as of lately to find fitness motivation.

Along the way on this 'mom bod journey' I found that Instagram is a pretty awesome tool to use. You can look up so many hashtags for things like "meal prepping", "leg day workout", "mom fitness" and bookmark them too look back on. I mean the results and possibilities really are endless.  But thats not what I want to focus on in this post. What I want to give credit to are the awesome ladies who PROMOTE people loving themselves, and working towards THEIR GOALS.

I have a few profiles that I really enjoy following, and my favorite thing about them is they are normal girls who live in the same town as me, showing that YOU can live a fit lifestyle. They don't sell fitness supplements so there is no pressure to try or buy anything, their post are not paid ads. They don't judge you, they actually try to be as helpful as they can be. These are the profiles women who are starting out in the gym need. These type of women are the kind that LIFT people up and show them- hey you can do this too!

The first profile is Kristen. (Ka_ris10) I actually went to high school with her, but I am pretty sure she was WAY smarter than I was and took much harder classes then I did, so our path's never really crossed. We became friends on IG kinda through the whole "people you may know" aka everyone you went to high school with gets added method. But I am really glad we did! Not only is she a therapist at the VA (which honestly, is amazing in itself), but a figure competitor, and she has issues with her belly like I do. Anytime I have a question about working out she is more than helpful, which is a becoming a rarity among women these days. Among her bangin' body the girl loves to throw down on Oreos and doughnuts, basically a girl after my own heart.  If you are working towards a competition or ever want to compete she needs to be on your friends list.

Next is Aubrie. (dolledupdumbbells) I've never met Aubrie in person, although our paths have crossed at the gym, and we grew up in the same town with mutual friends. I found her Instagram when I was looking at Kristen's, surprise-surprise! Aubrie is super motivational and has TONS of info on healthy eating. I like her profile because she is raw, she will tell you what she is doing and why she is doing it, the benefits in doing it and why the other ways may not work. I have learned a lot about eating while working out from her post. Also, how to warm up a meal on the dash of my car if I ever needed to! The girl is hilarious on her snapchat and IG stories.  I think the best thing about her profile is how relatable she is, she is there to show you that if she can do it, you can too! She goes to school, runs her own Rodan and Fields business, and was a people's choice winner in a body space competition. If you are looking for someone who is authentic this is definitely a girl you should be following.

I enjoy following people who are just like me. It can be super discouraging when looking for motivation from people who are judgmental and put themselves on a pedal stool. Even though these ladies don't know me personally, they have made an impact on my fitness journey. I too wanted to motivate others to become a healthy, better version of themselves. I fell in love with working out and now understand why people have dedicated their lives to a fitness lifestyle. Get on your social media and find the influencers that work for you! People that you enjoy watching and learning from. Remember not to compare yourself to them, to take what they say and apply it to work for yourself. It really is amazing the things you can learn from people who are passionate about empowering and teaching others.

Thats my goal, to one day be a woman/mother others look to for empowerment and motivation. Like I have said so many times, I am no fitness guru, just a mom who fell in love with weightlifting. But with help from women like Aubrie and Kristen, I have found a voice in the social media community.

Life with an autoimmune disease

I woke up one day in 2014 and my body had changed. No longer could I describe myself as a "healthy" twenty five year old. My body decided it was time to start attacking itself in the form of an autoimmune disease. Crohn's. 

At first I had no idea what I had, I just knew I was using the bathroom a lot and loosing weight. My days are still a lot like this, but now I'm using the bathroom while two toddlers dig through my make up bag as I beg them to put my Naked pallet down. 

Life with an autoimmune disease is hard. I'm not going to sugar coat it and make it sound like it's not a tough life. Because it is. In more ways than people realize. 

You are tired. ALL. THE. TIME. 

When stuff is coming out of your body as fast as it goes in energy depletes, quickly. Add in being a wife, mother and any other hats you wear. A sloth is literally my spirit animal at this point.  The fatigue is real, yall. 

Weird stuff happens to your body. 

One day you are fine and the next you have a fistula connecting your bladder to your bowels. You have things coming out of places they shouldn't be, and your just praying the Dr is going to fix you. 

People don't understand. Including doctors. 

Everyone thinks they know what's best for you. They read an article and now are qualified to diagnose and hand out treatment advice. It gets really annoying to listen to people tell you what you need to do to feel better. As if you hadn't tried already. Doctors pass you around, afraid to touch you. It is extremely frustrating when you go to the Doctor as your safe haven or ally but they nicely shoot you down. A doctor literally told me to my face "Crohns  is worse than having Cancer". 

You are constantly learning about body. 

What to eat, what not to eat. How much stress you can handle before throwing yourself into a flare. How long after you eat until you'll need a bathroom. The learning curve never ends. 

Coping with no cure.

Have you ever had to live with the thoughts that you are sick and never will get better? That is a rough pill to swallow. Knowing that no matter what you do your disease will never be cured, only managed. Trying to cope with that is pretty depressing some days. 

Lots of procedures and medicines. 

Sometimes I feel like a medical science project. Since there is no cure for my disease I am constantly trying new medicines, having multiple procedures done, surgeries, doctor visits. I should just take up residence in the hospital to save money gas. 

I have a long line of family autoimmunities. My father and sister has psoriasis. My mother possibly has Lupus. I have Crohn's. While each one is different on its own, each one of these conditions take a toll on a persons mental and physical health. If you have a friend or family member who has an autoimmune disease, try to remember to be cautious with your words, too many times have I heard women say "I wish I had your problem" as I dwindled down in weight. Be helpful when you can. I promise were not just being lazy laying on the couch, sometimes we really don't have the energy to get up and get the glass of water we asked for. As much as you think you are helpful and good hearted-  a lot of the time we don't appreciate unsolicited advice about diets, medicines, sales gimmicks or what your cousins brother did to cure his disease. 

Booty, Booty, Booty Rockin Everywhere | Leg Day at Home or in the Gym

I asked friends on my personal Facebook what kind of fitness content they would like to see on DnD and some suggested my favorite work out or circuits I like to do. I don't really do "circuit training" at the gym (even though I do enjoy those types of work outs) because I go with my husband. We focus on a body part each day. My personal favorite being legs/glutes.

Most people HATE working legs, which I totally understand because if you get a great work out in your legs are most likely going to be jello for the next couple of days. I feel sorry for you if you have stairs involved in any of your daily walking after leg day at the gym.

So, as requested below is my routine for legs! You could do this at home or in a gym. You will need resistance bands (I have found some at Walmart and online on Amazon) and weights. If you are doing these at home you could improvise weights with your little ones, I do that often. I have a 17 pound baby, 25 pound toddler and 40 pound toddler, so the weight increase works out well! haha.

In the gym work out:

-I start off with squats, either in the squat rack or smith machine- which ever you prefer. I start out in the squat rack so I can push myself to heavier weight with my husband. Keep it simple, mind your form and I do four sets of ten or until muscle failure.
After those I will move over to the smith machine and do Sumo squats with resistance bands and work my weight up. Sumo squats are basically wide legged squats- so spread your legs out as far as you comfortably can.  While doing this exercise I also do close leg squats- literally what it sounds like. Close your legs together and squat down like your going to sit in a chair. So your set will look like this- 5 sumo/5 close leg= 1 set. I do four sets with weight increments.

-Leg press. This is pretty straight forward exercise. Be sure you are not locking your legs out when you extend. You will be surprised how strong your legs really are even if you are just starting to workout, but be mindful how much weight you add because after squats your legs will be a bit fatigued.  I take it easy on these usually only one forty-five plate because the sled itself is pretty heavy. I do four sets of ten.

-Straight leg dead lift. I have recently just learned how to do these and I LOVE them! They feel so good in my opinion, the stretch in the hamstring is kinda just what I need after a good leg workout. You can do them standing flat on the ground or elevated on a step box for a deeper stretch. You will need a bar, dumbbell or kettlebell with your preferred weight and basically all you do is bend at the waist with your legs straight until you feel the stretch in your hamstrings. Bring it back up to your hips to start another rep.

-Resistance band kick backs/ side kicks. I do these in between sets while waiting for my husband to finish his. I start with low and work my way up to heavy. Place the resistance band around your ankles and just like the name of the exercise, kick your leg back. I don't have a certain amount of sets or reps I do on these, the lighter the weight the more I do and the heavier I do the less. My bands are a thicker width /small looped ones so thats why I place them around my ankles, but if you have the long/skinny ones you can loop it around a pole and place your foot inside the band to do kick backs that way. Side kicks is the same form, instead of kicking backward you will swing your leg out to the right/left side.

For cardio I do anywhere from 15-30 minutes on the treadmill, high incline with resistance bands around my thighs.

There are SO many exercises I am learning and wanting to add to my leg day routine but this one is tested and true. You will be sore- but I promise there will be results. This is my husbands routine minus the kick backs and his legs are awesome.

If you are working out at home try some of these variations. Like I said resistance bands are cheap and you can get them at Walmart! They really will add some challenge to your work out when you cant use weights.

- Resistance bands squats. You can do them regular, sumo and close legged with out weights. Start light and work up to heavy. If you want to add some weight, hold your baby or give your toddler a piggy back as you squat.
-Glute raises. Lay on your back and thrust your hips into the air. My girls LOVE when I have them sit on my belly and do these. Squeeze your butt, ladies!
-Deadlift/Squat combo. You'd need a little bit of weight for this but you basically do a SLD and when you come back up you will squat. I will post a video on here to demonstrate and if you follow me on social media it is on there as well!
-lunges with resistance bands.
-Kick backs, side kicks and leg raises with resistance bands. 

Please, please, PLEASE keep in mind that I am in no way, shape or form a personal trainer or fitness guru. I am just a mom who enjoys working out. With that being said, these exercises are what work for me and what I personally like doing in the gym/at home. These are the things that work for ME. Feel free to try them out and modify what you need to, to accommodate your body and fitness goals.

As with any work out you need some great music to get you pumped up, and on leg day I recommend the "twerk" station on pandora or "crime mob" station. But I mean, what else would you expect from a girl who grew up in North Carolina. ;)

If you try this work out and enjoy it, leave me a comment letting me know your favorite part and how you feel the day after!

Adjusting as a Mother

Whether you just had your first baby, or your third there is definitely an adjustment period women go through as they transition into a mother.  It can be easy for some momma's and super challenging for others. I have been on both of these sides.

With my first child, I had a very easy pregnancy (looking back in hindsight) and in my opinion a very chill little baby. *wish that would have carried over into the toddler years! ha!* She put herself on a routine and schedule that was easy to follow, I was never sleep deprived and for the most part she made becoming a mother very easy. I thought to myself, "what are all these women complaining about, babies are easy!". Even though I was doing it alone due to a deployed husband it really was not a huge adjustment for me. If you think I am just bragging, keep reading, I promise it was not always this easy for me.

Our second baby presented a few challenges being premature. While we were lucky that she was perfectly healthy and just came early- the girl hated to sleep, and she still does! This is when I started to realize what other moms were talking about. EVERYTHING that was easy about Kyler, was hard about Charlee. Complete opposites to say the least.

For me, going from ONE child to TWO was not learning how to get out of the house on time, or getting them to nap together. It was about learning to spread ALL my love from one little girl to now TWO. I remember laying in the hospital bed hugging Kyler before I had Charlee and this HUGE wave of guilt rushed over me. Almost as if I was doing something wrong, or betraying her. Of course I loved Charlee, she is my child but I had to learn how to share my love and attention that was once only focused on a blue eyed little girl. I had to learn a new baby and their quirks, I had to teach my toddler that she was a big sister and we don't throw apples at our baby sister's head. This was me adjusting into a mother of two.

The real kicker was baby three. Although I didn't feel the guilt I did before, this time I was ready and excited. What I didn't know was that I wasn't really ready. I was excited the entire pregnancy to welcome our baby boy, Colt, into our family. Our girls knew a baby was coming as my belly grew, they went to ultrasounds with us and got to excited to hear his heartbeat. It truly was a magical thing to witness the innocence of a toddler's excitement over a new baby.

I had my son when my husband was deployed, AGAIN. Colt is the easiest baby I have ever had. He sleeps well, he breastfed well, he didn't fuss. I was blessed again. What I wasn't ready for was the overwhelming feeling of pressure. Taking care of two toddlers and a newborn alone is very, very trying. I couldn't get anywhere I needed to be on time. I was constantly feeding one kid, changing the other, calming one down, making snacks for another. I was overwhelmed to say the least. VERY overwhelmed.

I stopped going places if I didn't need to. I
started eating and feeding my girls A LOT of fast food. I'd leave to go to the store just to get away from them almost every chance I got. I would think about my husband and cry. Honestly, I did a lot of crying. I could be pumping my breast and burst out in tears. I was in over my head, but I wouldn't admit it to anyone. I have family who lives with me but I felt like a burden to ask for help. I would loose my temper with my girls over stupid things. I hated who I was becoming and no one knew it but me. Looking back I realize I had some PPD.

I was very lucky that those feelings passed, my husband came home from deployment, my hormones leveled out and today my days are much, much smoother. Do I have hard days? You bet your tail I do! I have a almost two year old who thinks our home is a obstacle course, and a three year old who I am sure is PMS'ing (she comes by it honest). My saving grace though is the unconditional love I get from those turds. Lord knows they don't take it easy on me, but I am keeping up some how.

We portray becoming a mother as this beautiful process, and while it totally is- its okay to admit that sometimes its NOT always pretty. Its not always easy, we do struggle. The adjustments are not the same for everyone, and thats OKAY. I think of myself as a pretty seasoned momma, and even I had a learning curve when it came to being a mom of three. Hell, one I am still learning about.

At the end of the day though, you are exactly what your child needs as a mother. No one could ever do a better job than you. Being a mother will never be easy, there are things I am sure we will be adjusting to for years to come. So whether its your first or third, be easy on yourself and ask for help when you need it.