Things Military Family's Need Civilians To Know

There are so many myths and tales out there when it comes to the military and their families.  It can be really frustrating to try to explain our "benefits" and why we have them to people. Trust me, there is a reason behind everything we receive, which honestly isn't much and nothing to be seriously jealous of. But if you find yourself green with envy, remember you can always visit your local recruiting office and sign up to receive the same things we get. There is also a level of ignorance when it comes to comments people make about military life, things people probably wouldn't ask or say to joe-blow on the street.

1. Yes- we get a housing allotment, and free health care. But its nothing to write home about.

What you probably don't know is that without that housing allotment there would be NO WAY a lot of us would able to afford to pay rent. Have you ever seen the base pay for a soldier? Google it, and then let me know what you think. There is not always enough houses on post for soldiers and their families, leading majority of families to live off post. Even if you choose to live on post, the military takes that housing allotment back. The healthcare. Yes, we get free health care but that means ONLY going to military clinics, ONLY going to military hospitals, NO urgent care visits allowed, NO specialty doctors with out a lengthy referral process. Its not that great. 

2. STOP asking us "what if he dies over there?"

First of all, its completely RUDE and uncalled for. Every wife who sends her husband off on a deployment is fully aware of the possibility that he is not coming home. Its a mental battle that we deal with and have to push to the back of our mind. Please, for the love of all things holy, DO NOT remind a spouse that their soldier may not come home. It would just as shocking if we were to ask you "what if your husband dies today?" while working a garbage truck shift. Catch my drift?

3. We DO NOT get paid for having children. 

Although I wish we did, diapers are expensive! ha.  But no, this is a total myth. I am sure many people believe thats why I have shot three babies out back to back, but the only thing we get for them is a bedroom upgrade in post housing. 

4. Its not a glamorous life that we live. 

Military life is not a ray of sunshine. A lot of the time wives are alone, raising babies, keeping the house going while their husband is away. Even if your husband is home the likely hood of seeing him a ton is slim. Between field problems, ranges, training, and the list goes on, our husbands are gone more than they are home. Now, can you imagine marrying someone and knowing their job comes first, ALWAYS. Its not an easy pill to swallow. Plans get ruined so you stop making them. Parents miss birthdays and holidays, even births of their children. Soldiers get stressed out about work or even PTSD which causes problems in marriages. Its not always an easy ride for us.

5. Moving around the world is not as fun as it looks. 

A lot of people are envious about the places we get to travel, and yes I agree, the military can send you to some really cool places. Now remember that after about three years you will come down on orders to move again. Usually right as we get used to the place we are living, have made good friends, the kids are in school, we maybe even have a decent job. You have to pack up, leave and start all over. Again, and again, and again.  It can be exhausting and taxing on friendships, not to mention if you are extremely far away from family it could be years until you could plan a visit. 

6. Our soldiers love their country.

Even if you are bitter about the life we live, our soldier is still going to defend your right to feel that way. He will still wake up, lace up his boots, put on his maroon beret and walk out the door away from HIS family to protect YOURS. They will never give up on America and the freedoms we have. 

Soldiers didn't set up a list of demands upon joining the military, the government decided what benefits they would receive. Before you judge a military family for having something you don't, take a step back and maybe think to yourself the many reasons WHY they have those. A housing allotment and free health care are NOT worth someones life, but thats the wager we are living with.