Gym Child Care For The Win

I had my first baby in 2014 and when she was about nine months old I began going to the gym with my husband. We signed up, excited to start and impressed with what the child care LOOKED like. We loaded up on our first day and I never knew the nightmare we were about to encounter. The women running the daycare in the gym for whatever reason would not speak english to us, we knew that they COULD but for whatever reason they chose to speak to us and our daughter in Spanish. Weird, right? Our daughter had a complete meltdown, and that was the day I decided no more day cares. I gave up going to the gym because I was not going to put her in that situation again.

My husband requested they paint her face as Braveheart. 

Flash forward to this year. We started going to the Gold's Gym in our town. The gym is great but the child care is what won us over. THEY. ARE. AMAZING. They know our daughters by name, they console them if they are upset, they do crafts, they play movies and have a ton of toys for the kids. My favorite thing though is every day they have a special activity. Like, face paint Friday's and pajama day Saturday. We love it. Our six month old also started going, and yes some days its hit or miss with him because he is a teething, temperamental mess lately but they are just as great with him. They even have work out activities for the kids on Sunday's and a mommy and me class for baby-toddler ages. The amount of thought that went into this child care is very impressive. Its so much more than sitting them in front of a TV or in a room full of toys. The teachers are interacting with the kids, they are helping them make crafts, they are doing everything they can to make sure mom and dad get the time in to get a great work out.

Every day leaving, she goes to the weights and does squats. 

It has been really fun going to the gym as a family. Our daughters get excited to go and play which helps hold me accountable for my work out that day. Its something they look forward to doing, and they are watching us better ourselves which in return is teaching them the importance of exercise.

I encourage ALL moms to find a gym with awesome childcare. You don't have to sit at home and put your health on the back burner like I did. There are great gyms that provide good child care. If you don't like how something is being done, or how your child is being treated speak up and voice your concern. Before I was quite and timid- now- you better watch out when it comes to my babies. I haven't had any problems at our gym, our girls love going just as much as we do! If you are at Fort Bragg I urge you to try Gold' Gym of Hope Mills! The gym is great and the childcare is even better!

Friday Favorites | Workout Edition

It can be hard to spend the money to try out new products when it comes to supplements. Some of them are SO expensive. I know personally, I try to keep the integrity of quality with the products I choose but also I need an affordable price point. One income fit family probz. Below are a few of my favorite things I am using that are fairly priced, well, in my opinion at least.

Muscle Max Protein 

I usually HATE protein. I can barely choke a sip down. Like, its that bad to me. BUT this protein- oh my word.. it is delicious! We have tried many flavors, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Cookies n Cream, Strawberry Banana and Chocolate Mint. They were all super tasty! I enjoy this protein because there is not a strong protein taste to it. I cant remember all the awesome things it does for your body that the sales man told me, the taste alone won me over. It is also very gentle on my stomach and sensitivities so that is a HUGE plus!

Hyde Pre-Work out// Cotton Candy Flavor

I like this pre-work out for the pump it gives me, it amps me up quite a bit and this flavor is YUM. I have tried their green apple and watermelon flavors, and they are okay- they have a super sour taste which isn't terrible but not my favorite. This flavor is sweet and taste just like candy, so that works well with my sweet tooth. 

Sweet Sweat

Okay, I was really hesitant about this product. I didn't really think it would work as great as it does, but wow. If you really want to sweat off some water weight this needs to be your go-to! Mix it with an elastic waist sweat band and you are golden. I was so surprised by how much it made me sweat, and amazed that I didn't smell terrible from using it either. I REALLY like this product. 

Chuck Taylors

I LOVE these shoes for lifting. Not for running, lets be clear! They provide great stability and grounding for things like squatting and deadlifting. They help keep your feet flat on, and close to the ground so you can push through your heels. Running shoes can make that process a little harder. Not to mention they are affordable, comfy, long lasting and cute. I have three pair, but not that I am counting or anything. 

What are you favorite gym necessities and what products are you loving lately?

That time I tried a spin class

 Okay, story time friends. A couple years ago, early in my marriage I was going to the gym to kill time. I didn't have a job and we just moved to a new Army post that had an awesome gym. One day, for what ever crazy reason I thought I would try a spin class.

Biggest.
Mistake.
Ever.

I thought it would be easy. I mean, it looked easy enough. Get on the bike. Pedal, sweat, go home. I was wrong, y'all. So, so, sooo wrong.

First- I walk in and I'm already intimidated. There is a man in the front with all his biking gear on and a microphone taped to his face.
"Pick a seat in the back, that way no one can see you" was my logic.
Luckily there were still a couple bikes back there, I think a few other ladies had my same idea.
I throw one leg over and go to straddle this contraption. OUCH! Wtf, did I just sit on a cement block?! Oh- nope, just the seat. The extremely SMALL seat, at that.
If I wasn't dedicated at the time I would have walked out right then, those seats were not made for woman with butt cheeks I'm convinced.
So the lights dim (thank you Jesus) and I board the struggle bus, destination - Fitness Hell.
The man yells something in the mic that I can't comprehend and all the ladies start to pedal. Oh got it.. we're starting.
Ah, just like i thought easy peasy. Then he mumbles something again and the women cheer.. and begin to stand up while pedaling. I hadn't done that motion since I was a child. While I tried to figure out my balance they start going up and down. Up and down. While pedaling. Like it's easy or something. My legs were on FIRE! I could barely hold myself up.
When I tell you this next part, I am not even kidding.
I looked around, looked at the door, looked at the instructor (who was probably laughing at me on the inside) and decided this was my time to get out of there. Spin was not for me.
How do I walk out of here with out looking like a total joke since we're not even five minutes into the class. Legs still on fire, probably about break off, I decide I can't take anymore.
I causally get off my bike, the other women are still having a blast, spinning away, as I try to invisibly walk out.
The instruction says- "hey! Where ya going!"
Seriously. Insert biggest eye roll ever.
I'm on the spotlight. Now all these biker chicks have undivided attention on me and have stopped cheering.

"Oh, I'm just going to use the bathroom" as I slide out of the door and book it down the hall. Well, probably more like waddled from a mixture of the stone seat I had sat on and the assault my legs just took. I guess I should have told him I was going to use the bathroom.. at my house.

And that is how my first spin class went. All two minutes. Not an exaggeration, that's the time. They had a huge digital clock in the room. Yep, two minutes of my body screaming "why are you doing this to me!" It felt like an eternity though.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Spin class is not for me. It's not just like riding a bike. It's not relaxing. It's for crazy people, who enjoy unusual torture.

Five reasons you need a gym buddy

If you have ever tried working out alone you know it can prove to be a challenge at times. At least it is for me! I know there is no way I could ever get a decent work out in by myself, especially since I am still learning so much about lifting. I would be all over the gym, literally. Bouncing from machine to machine. Thank the good lord for husbands who gym! Mine has become my favorite gym partner.

You need someone to push you.

We all have our days when our head is just not in it, you need that person who is going to motivate you and push you to finish. Who will help you set new personal records and drive you to be better than you were yesterday.

Sometimes you'll need a spotter. 

If you are going hard in the gym chances are at some point you are going to need a spot. Don't be crazy and hurt yourself trying to out do it, if you need help getting the weight up ask your friend to spot you! Heck, even my husband ask me to spot him here and there- I am not confident in the fact that I could be of any help if he needed it, but I think its just a mental thing for him when he is going REALLY heavy. 

You can learn new techniques. 

Everyone does things a little different than the next person. I have learnt SO much from working out with my husband. While I love working out with him, I am eager to meet new people and learn things from their work out. 

Accountability. 

Its easy to give up on yourself and goals when its only you watching. Having a person to hold you accountable helps a TON! A gym friend will be there to make sure you don't bail on working out that day because they are counting on you to go with them. 

Its a good time to catch up. 

Life gets hectic and some times its hard to make time to see our friends. Working out with them makes this a bit easier to do. You are getting your exercise in to be physically healthier and your getting time to socialize with people you love which helps you mentally. Killing two birds with one stone. 

Maybe you are the type of person who enjoys working out alone, which is totally fine. I personally KNOW I need a gym buddy, I am much more productive when I have some one there to help push me through out my workout. Plus, when you spend all day home with toddlers, you NEEEED some adult conversation while lifting some heavy weights. Which ever you prefer, the important part is that  you got your work out in.

Drop a comment below, which do you prefer? Working out alone or with a partner?

We all struggle.

Life is not always easy. There are obstacles in every aspect of living. Whether its fitness or mental, mothering or wifing, challenges present themselves. With social media these days it is easy to only show the amazing things going on. We get to show our highlight reel of our everyday life. What we don't show are the struggles.

I may seem to have it all together, all the time- but I promise you that is SO far from the truth. I struggle to love myself sometimes, I am sure just like many women do. Its hard to remember that I am in the gym for progress and not perfection. I don't always eat the best or right things for my body or fitness goals. My marriage is not rainbows and cupcakes twenty-four-seven. There are times I am SURE my husband will pack up and leave. My kids call me mean mommy here and there, okay, daily.

But.
You know what.

Its not how we struggle, its how we overcome.

You are what you think, ya know, just like eating. You HAVE to put positive thoughts in your head and KEEP them there. I for one know how hard this can be to do. I still am learning how to perfect this. We cant dwell on things that are going wrong, what we can do is look for the positives in every situation and a solution.

You have to make the choice to either MOVE in a better direction or stay stuck in negativity. You are going to have bad days, that is just human nature. How you choose to over come them though, thats a personal choice.

Its only Wednesday and this week for me has already been a doozy. I woke up this morning ready to throw in the towel.. with everything. My head was full to the brim of every negative thought a person could think. But, I had to make the choice. Was I going to sit around and feel sorry for myself over trivial things, or was I going to find a solution and make the best of the day?

I went with the latter. I hope you do too when you find yourself having a crappy day.

Mental Health Day

I have dedicated the day to being lazy and mentally recovering. My son is sick with pneumonia. Sunday night I ended up having to take him into the emergency room for a crazy high temp. We didn't get home until four in the morning, and then my girls were up at seven to start the day. Luckily my sister came to help and let me rest a bit but today I still feel a little "hungover" from being sleep deprived. I am not the type of person who shuts down when they are tired at first, I become WIRED and then I crash- for a couple of days. Its horrible. So today I don't have any informational fitness advice or witty mom humor. I am a walking mombie.  Talk to you guys soon, and I promise it wont be long! 

Pits and Peaks

Another week is over, and here I am blogging away my time avoiding house work and laundry. Does anyone else HATE laundry as much as I do? I seriously avoid it at all cost.
The PITS of my week.

-Trying to decide a housing community we want to live in on post.

-The stress that comes with moving.

-Not being at the beach this weekend like we planned.
-We had to start buying 9mo clothing for our big boy. I'm not ready for him to be growing this fast!

The PEAKS of my week.

-We had a great BBQ at the pool with our friends and family.

-Colt is sleeping better this week.

-The girls have been in pretty good spirits and fun to be around.
-My younger sister and nephew came down for a weekend visit. It was fun to watch the kids play together.
-We are loving Big Brother this season!
There wasn't much that went on this week. We decided to move into housing on post since our lease is ending soon, we had a few appointments to go to, and other than that it was a very chill week. We took some time off the gym because I wasn't feeling well a lot of this week. Today starts the work out week over for us though, so leg day it is!

Adjusting as a Mother

Whether you just had your first baby, or your third there is definitely an adjustment period women go through as they transition into a mother.  It can be easy for some momma's and super challenging for others. I have been on both of these sides.

With my first child, I had a very easy pregnancy (looking back in hindsight) and in my opinion a very chill little baby. *wish that would have carried over into the toddler years! ha!* She put herself on a routine and schedule that was easy to follow, I was never sleep deprived and for the most part she made becoming a mother very easy. I thought to myself, "what are all these women complaining about, babies are easy!". Even though I was doing it alone due to a deployed husband it really was not a huge adjustment for me. If you think I am just bragging, keep reading, I promise it was not always this easy for me.

Our second baby presented a few challenges being premature. While we were lucky that she was perfectly healthy and just came early- the girl hated to sleep, and she still does! This is when I started to realize what other moms were talking about. EVERYTHING that was easy about Kyler, was hard about Charlee. Complete opposites to say the least.

For me, going from ONE child to TWO was not learning how to get out of the house on time, or getting them to nap together. It was about learning to spread ALL my love from one little girl to now TWO. I remember laying in the hospital bed hugging Kyler before I had Charlee and this HUGE wave of guilt rushed over me. Almost as if I was doing something wrong, or betraying her. Of course I loved Charlee, she is my child but I had to learn how to share my love and attention that was once only focused on a blue eyed little girl. I had to learn a new baby and their quirks, I had to teach my toddler that she was a big sister and we don't throw apples at our baby sister's head. This was me adjusting into a mother of two.

The real kicker was baby three. Although I didn't feel the guilt I did before, this time I was ready and excited. What I didn't know was that I wasn't really ready. I was excited the entire pregnancy to welcome our baby boy, Colt, into our family. Our girls knew a baby was coming as my belly grew, they went to ultrasounds with us and got to excited to hear his heartbeat. It truly was a magical thing to witness the innocence of a toddler's excitement over a new baby.

I had my son when my husband was deployed, AGAIN. Colt is the easiest baby I have ever had. He sleeps well, he breastfed well, he didn't fuss. I was blessed again. What I wasn't ready for was the overwhelming feeling of pressure. Taking care of two toddlers and a newborn alone is very, very trying. I couldn't get anywhere I needed to be on time. I was constantly feeding one kid, changing the other, calming one down, making snacks for another. I was overwhelmed to say the least. VERY overwhelmed.

I stopped going places if I didn't need to. I
started eating and feeding my girls A LOT of fast food. I'd leave to go to the store just to get away from them almost every chance I got. I would think about my husband and cry. Honestly, I did a lot of crying. I could be pumping my breast and burst out in tears. I was in over my head, but I wouldn't admit it to anyone. I have family who lives with me but I felt like a burden to ask for help. I would loose my temper with my girls over stupid things. I hated who I was becoming and no one knew it but me. Looking back I realize I had some PPD.

I was very lucky that those feelings passed, my husband came home from deployment, my hormones leveled out and today my days are much, much smoother. Do I have hard days? You bet your tail I do! I have a almost two year old who thinks our home is a obstacle course, and a three year old who I am sure is PMS'ing (she comes by it honest). My saving grace though is the unconditional love I get from those turds. Lord knows they don't take it easy on me, but I am keeping up some how.

We portray becoming a mother as this beautiful process, and while it totally is- its okay to admit that sometimes its NOT always pretty. Its not always easy, we do struggle. The adjustments are not the same for everyone, and thats OKAY. I think of myself as a pretty seasoned momma, and even I had a learning curve when it came to being a mom of three. Hell, one I am still learning about.

At the end of the day though, you are exactly what your child needs as a mother. No one could ever do a better job than you. Being a mother will never be easy, there are things I am sure we will be adjusting to for years to come. So whether its your first or third, be easy on yourself and ask for help when you need it.

Four reasons you should start working out TODAY

We always hear about how great exercise is for our bodies, and it's true, but it's also good for more than just loosing weight or packing on muscle. There are so many benefits when it comes to working out.

It feels GOOD 

While it doesn't seem like it would, I promise it does. Yes you will get tired, you will be sore but when the work out is done you'll feel great.

You'll boost your confidence 

Obviously. Exercise can improve your appearance which in return you will feel better about yourself. Even if you don't see changes immediately, just knowing that you are taking the steps to a better you is a huge ego boost!

De-stress

I mean, who doesn't want to take their aggression out on some weights? I know this is my husbands number one way to wind down after a long day at work. Being in the gym will boost endorphins and take your mind off daily stressors you may be dealing with.

You are WORTH it 

Your body and health are worth fighting for. Only YOU have the power to make a better you. You have to LOVE you and make the choice to improve what you don't. We all have hard days where we struggle to love the skin we are in, but it's the only one we get. So get in a gym and work on being a better you!

Just a number | Why I stopped looking at the scale

As women we tend to focus our worth with the three numbers on a scale. We dread stepping on and face them looking back at us. Ive been there, you've been there, some of you may still be there. You probably think people are full of it when they tell you not to focus on what the scale says. Its HARD not to. I know, I have been down the same road. 

After I had my son in February I went to a local supplement store in town for some pre-work out and protein. They had a machine that basically breaks your entire body down. From water weight, muscle mass, fat content- even the weight of each limb! While I was a bit discouraged by my results I knew they wouldn't be great since 1. I wasn't in the gym (yet) and 2. I just had a baby about a month prior. What it did give me was some serious motivation. This test also gives you recommended weight loss to get your BMI in the right range for your height and age.

So, I hit the gym with my husband and began a meal plan. Nothing too strict, I eased myself into it. I began feeling better, and shortly after I was able to fit into a pair of jean shorts from last year before I got pregnant. Do you know what the scale said though- that I hadn't lost any weight. While I didnt let this discourage me because I could start to feel the difference, I know not all women are like me. 

If you begin lifting weights like I am, remember this KEY piece of advice.. MUSCLE WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT! So if the scale doesnt move thats OKAY! Get a body analysis done and track your progress that way. Home scales can be off by a pound or two.

When you start working out, do it because you love yourself. Not as punishment for what your body looks like. There are SO many things we would love to change about ourselves. A year ago, I was desperate to GAIN weight because of my Crohn's disease. Now I am just happy maintaining my health. Remember YOU are worth so much more than any number on a scale. There is no perfect weight or body. The perfect body is a healthy and happy one. 

To the Wife of a Deployed Soldier

My heart aches for you. For I know the true pain you are going through. I know the anxiety of watching your husband pack weeks before and wishing time would either pause or fly by.

I know the dread that the night before brings. Tossing and turning, can't sleep, but not out of excitement. Waking up that morning trying your hardest to keep it together at least until you see him off. The pain of kissing my husband goodbye while our child grows in my belly.

I know how hard it is to TRY to explain to your toddler that Daddy is going away for a long time, and no we can't go see him. I know what it's like to grip the rails of a hospital bed, in labor with out my husband standing by my side. The ache in your heart as you bring a new baby home and he meets his father via FaceTime. Or the bittersweetness of your child starting their first T-ball season but Dad's not there.

How everything in your house will decide its time to combust all at once. The dog will get sick. The kids will go through a huge tantrum/ test their limits phase. The washer and dryer quit working. Your ID card will expire. The frustration of getting a decent internet connection so you can see his face, hear his voice or even something as simple as a text. The rush to get to the post office on a Saturday because you forgot to send out his care package.


The friends who said they'd be there have gone on with their lives while your stuck in pause. Family "understands" but do they really? There is a BIG difference in missing your son, brother, or nephew than missing your HUSBAND. Your Army wife friends are probably the only ally you have, find your tribe and love them hard. But for your sanity, stay off the wives Facebook pages.

To the wife of a deployed soldier. 

YOU are so strong. Brave. Selfless. 

To keep the house going, kids alive, and picking up slack that comes with being a "single" parent. You are STRONG. 

To love a man thousands of miles away, without the promise of a homecoming.
You are BRAVE. 

To be in a marriage where the military comes first, and when he is called upon he must go. For standing by his side and loving a countryman.
 You are SELFLESS. 

People may think that this is what we signed up for. Sure. But we are also human, and you are allowed to feel sad or miss your husband. Do not EVER let someone discredit your marriage or feelings because you knew your husband was a soldier. What they don't understand is- we don't fear the distance. We fear them not returning, and if you are asking me to be okay with that, it's never going to happen. I "signed up" to love a man who sometimes loves his country more. I "signed up" to love a man willing to go to war and die for you.

I know it feels like the world is dragging right past you, and you will never see the end in sight. It's coming. The tears, the frustration, missing him will ALL be worth it the day he steps off the plane and is home again. Until then, hold your pretty little head up and make him proud!

What did I say? | Things I never thought I would have to say as a parent

Y'all.. do you find yourself thinking "Did I really just have to say that" after talking to your children. Ahh, Welcome to my life.

I have two toddler girls who are full of spunk, sass and off the wall weirdness. I could probably write a book with all the things they have said to me or I have said to THEM but a blog post will do!

Here are a few that come to mind, I'm sure there will be plenty more in years to come. And when I say they can be weird- I am not exaggerating. Leave your judgement for a Facebook moms page.

A few mild ones to start us off, probably not too abnormal. I bet you've said them too. 

"Why are you naked?" 

"Don't put your finger in your butt"

"You can't eat playdough"

Not so bad right? Let's get a little weirder. 

"Don't dig in your poop"

"Leave the dogs butt alone!" 

"Don't lick your sister!" 

Now, totally left. I'm probably a lone wolf on these ones. 

"Don't put hot tamales (candy) in your vagina!"

"Stop trying to fart on your sister!" 

"Stop juggling my butt, please!"*

"Stop pinching my nipple!" *

*Disclaimer- the last two mainly happen in the shower. But have been said outside of the bathroom as well. I know, I know. But if you are a mom, you know the struggle and I'm sure have been there as well.

Oh, the beautiful joy of parenting. I hope everyone is having a great weekend! 

Thanks for reading!!

To the Mom Finding Her Fitness Again

We are so critical about our image as mothers. Forgetting the amazing thing our body did. Create life. 

It begins when you get pregnant. You're over joyed but there is that tiny thought in your head "oh, I don't want to get fat". It sticks with you as you grow during your pregnancy. "Oh my gosh, I gained 4 ponds since my last appointment" We say to ourselves after the baby is born I'm hitting the gym and dieting as we stuff our latest craving in.

Flash forward- baby is born, and you are over the moon! But shortly after, you realize your body didn't snap back. You have stretch marks. You have a little mom pooch. And your once again, you are critical. Picking out every single imperfection, new and old.

One thing I had to understand starting my fitness journey is that THIS is MY body. It gave me THREE gorgeous, healthy babies. It's time I start loving it. You have to get to that point too mama, because if you don't working out in the gym is not going to make you love yourself nor will it be enjoyable. You have to want to be healthy, fit, whatever it is because you have some serious self love going on, not as a punishment. THEN make some fitness goals
.

Make REALISTIC and attainable goals. One short term, one long term.

 For example- a short term goal could be 

- loose five pounds this month 

- Be able to do 15 squats

Long term should be something like

- Be able to lift heavy 

- Run two miles 

The long term doesn't have to be a super long period of time, but set a goal that would take YOU a bit longer to attain. I am not a runner so running two miles could take me a while to get to. Set your goals based on yourself and not what others are doing or how long it takes them.

Stop comparing yourself to other women. We do this SO much. It doesn't matter where we are- on Facebook, in the gym, at the store.. we compare ourself to the woman standing next to us not knowing the struggle SHE is having herself. EVERYONE has highs and lows, guys.

When I started working out I would look at the women surrounding me in the gym and I'm surprised I didn't turn green right there on the spot. I was extremely envious. I work out in a gym full of soldiers, and body builders. I wanted to lift like them. I wanted their bodies. I wanted the cute gym clothes. I was jealous. Hands down.

So what did I do? I took that jealousy and turned it into DRIVE. You have to find it deep inside of you and pull it out. It is not easy to make the choice every day to work out, but once you start seeing your body change you won't want to stop. I promise.

First, find a gym. Anywhere will work- a big gym, apartment gym, even a home work out plan works! I work out with my husband because he pushes me. Find a section on your body that you enjoy working out. Mine is legs or back. Make an awesome playlist that gets you pumped. All of these things help me start.

Maybe lifting isn't your thing. That's OKAY! Just get your heart rate going. Take a class. Go on the treadmill. Use the machines as a circuit. Just do something to get you LOVING you again.

If I can do it- a girl who loves junk food, being lazy and hates running, I know you can too!

Fighter | I have Crohn's Disease.

I often get the question "What is Crohn's Disease?". By definition: Crohn's Disease is an autoimmune disease that effects the digestive tract. It is also known as "IBD" or inflammatory bowel disease. There is NO cure for Crohn's, only medicines to maintain symptoms. Common terms: my intestines hate life and are attacking themselves. Constantly.

In June of 2014 I began having symptoms of CD but didn't know it. I was using the bathroom so many times a day that I lost over twenty pounds without trying. Luckily, I had (and still have) a wonderful friend who was my advocate on getting tested. She too lives with this disease and has become a purple ribbon sister to me, b
ut also my teacher in learning about the changes my body can go through during a flare. (Love you, Ashley!) So, I went to the doctor and I remember telling her my symptoms and bringing up CD. Thank goodness she took me seriously and found out what test to run to hopefully rule it out. Crohn's is rare and can be hard to diagnose. I did the samples, blood work, etc. and waited for them to come back.

I was sitting in the room with my three month old baby girl, my husband was deployed, anxious to hear what these results would bring. Everything that shouldn't be elevated, was. Everything that was supposed to be normal, was abnormal. My stomach sank and tears flowed down my face as she told me "I do believe you have Crohn's".  I had to have a colonoscopy to be sure. Unfortunately the doctor who did my test did not properly give me my results so I spent two more years in limbo. Still loosing weight. Still extremely fatigued. Malnourished no matter what or how much I ate.


Enter Charlee and the worst pain I had ever, ever endured in my life. Up until this I had never felt natural childbirth (I have now and nothing compares!) but this pain I had in my stomach I never wanted to experience again. I had a seventeen month old baby, and a five week old baby so I wasn't ready to admit I was sick and something was very wrong. After much convincing from my husband I went to the hospital. An abscess in my intestines was found and I was admitted.  I spent about a week on IV antibiotic and then discharged STILL WITH NO DIAGNOSIS. Just "oh you probably do have Crohn's". My frustration was through the roof.

I was re-admited to the military hospital, this time with said abscess but now a fistula as well. A fistula is a tunnel that forms from abscesses and can come to the surface of the skin, or connect things. Mine connected my bowels to my bladder. I will always, always, ALWAYS be so thankful for the military doctors at Fort Bliss because they finally diagnosed me with Crohn's disease. Finally I had a face to the monster that was controlling my life. Finally I could explain to people that I had a disease not just a stomach ache. That no, in fact I don't "just have IBS."

I had a surgery in February of 2016 to remove a portion of my colon, part of my bladder and my appendix. I started Humira injections and now have moved onto infusion therapy. I go every eight weeks for a Remicade cocktail and nap. My Crohn's for now is behaving, but its such a temperamental disease that it could change within the hour. I have had to learn so much about my body in the last three years, cut things from my life, learn how to be healthy and watch for warning signs of colon cancer or even medicine induced lupus.

Ive gotten some crazy questions along the way about CD and wanted to clear the air a little and provide some etiquette for people when inquiring.

-My disease is more than just using the bathroom or a stomach ache. Imagine the WORST stomach ache you have ever had. Then remember that after you use the bathroom the pain goes away. Not for people with Crohn's. The pain is constant and hard to manage. Day in, day out.
-I am not trying to loose weight and saying things like "oh man, I wish I had your problem" is insensitive. I am malnourished and you don't want that problem, I promise.
-CROHN'S IS NOT CONTAGIOUS. I wont infect you!
-Yes, I go to the hospital. A lot. Sorry, I do not keep a Doctor on staff in my home.
-Crohn's Disease and IBS are not the same. Similar, maybe. The symptoms do cross paths but IBS does not cause inflammation in intestines and its not autoimmune.

If you EVER feel like something is not right with your body be sure you take it seriously! Talk with a Doctor, do not let people brush you off. Find an advocate who will stand by your side and fight with you. God only knows what I would do if I didn't have my amazing family/friends, and Ashley. She has taught me SO much about Crohn's, she checks in on me when I am sick, and the convo's we have aren't that of normal mom talk. We are grown women who found an awesome friendship via hemorrhoids, poop, pain and anything else this disease brings our way!

I may be sick but I am not weak. I have a fight so deep inside of my bones to get better. My life will never be a easy ride with Crohn's but it will always be a learning experience. Not only for myself but for my children. I never want them to look back an think, oh we never did anything cause mom was sick- or remember me being controlled by my disease. Crohn's doesn't hold me back from anything.. okay well only if there isn't a public bathroom- but thats it! I want to raise my children to be compassionate of people, to understand that everyone has difficulties in their life one way or another but its how we overcome them. THATS why I don't let this disease rule me. If I did I would be completely paralyzed with fear and negative thoughts. I have enough odds against me, I am going to live my life happy and optimistic, and take the flares as they come.

"I still got a lot of fight left in me."

If you never read another post from my blog, I am so thankful that you read this one.

Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom

When I became pregnant with my oldest daughter, Kyler, I didn't expect another baby for a very, very long time. I had her in the middle of a year long deployment so my husband missed my entire pregnancy starting at 15 weeks and came home when she was about six months old. 

We have what we call "the nine month curse" even though it's really a blessing. When Kyler was nine months old I became pregnant with Charlee. When Charlee was nine months old, you guessed it- along came Colt! 

I was thrown into the whirlwind of three under three while my husband was once again deployed. It was the hardest adjustment for me because I had a little post-partum depression. I would cry because I missed my husband and that he was missing out on so much again. I would get over whelmed with my daughters. Even though Colt was a super easy baby, I had a very hard time adjusting to a mom of three. Something I never vocalized until just now. 

Now a days my days are filled of crazy, hectic commotion and I. LOVE. IT. Most days I play referee between my girls. Kyler likes to tattle and Charlee likes to hit. See my problem? 

Recently I am potty training Kyler who REFUSES to poop on the toilet. (If you have advice on this please leave a comment, because I've tried EVERYTHING). Teaching the girls how to do chores because I'm a bit OCD. Okay, a lot OCD. Working with Colt on his physical therapy home work. He has a flat spot on his head we are rounding out. All the while keeping the house work and laundry done. Being a SAHM is exhausting, man. 

Some days I dream of going back to work. I think about how nice it will be when they start school and I can use the bathroom alone. And then I remember, I can't even work out for an hour with out peeking in the window at kids care! Who am I kidding! 

To be honest,  I am not even sure what my identity is outside of being a mother to these babies. The crazy part, I am totally okay with that. 

I do have a few wishes to the SAHM gods though. 

• laundry that does itself. Like all of the steps. I want the whole sha-bang. 
• Pacifiers that can never be lost. 
• Toddlers that can't tattle tale. 
• New episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. For the love of all things, this is a NEED! 
• A toddler who can always articulate what snack they want, or what movie they want to watch. Without crying for bonus point. 
• Potty trained automatically at one. That one would be awesome. 

You know just a few simple request! 

But seriously. If you are living this stay at home mom life with me, remember YOU are just as important as your partner. I had a hard time (and still do) remembering that what I do at home is VERY much so a job. Just because it's not a regular nine to five does not take away the importance of what I am doing. Shout out to the awesome hubby's like mine who help remind women like me! 

We are blessed to have this opportunity. I'm sure there are many, many mothers who wished they were on our side of the fence. Embrace it momma, because while it's not always easy- it's worth it! 

Thanks for reading! 

Be beYOUtiful

 Vulnerable moment/confession here-

A couple years ago when I tried to start lifting with D in the gym I completely stopped because I didn't look like the other girls I was in there with.
They were gorgeous, fit girls. Perfect hair and make up, cute outfits.. the works. I felt like a dumpy, post baby bod, mom bun, mess. Looking back now, I know my self worth is much more than what I am wearing and that I am in the gym to WORK out not win a beauty contest.
But we are women and we like to look cute. I mean, if you feel nice then you're probably going to work harder because your confidence is up, and you're not focusing on your appearance. At least that's how it works for me.
I swore this time getting back in the gym I WOULD not compare myself to others. Not my form. Not my clothes. Hair. NOTHING! When I find myself doing this I say to myself "girl, you are a mom of THREE! Get it babe!" Because I am. I am a mother. This messy bun is about as good as it gets these days, I don't have the time to beautify myself to sweat. Sorry, I just don't.

*BUT*
I do have a sweet spot for cute work out clothes. If my head is gonna look a mess, I'm gonna try to feel cute in my clothes! Haha.
I get ALL of my work out clothes from places like Ross, TJ Maxx and Marshalls. Because, three kids in diapers, hunti!
That adds up quick! I can't afford Under Armor, Nike and Yogalicious on a SAHM salary.
 I'm sure every woman who is reading this has a favorite out of those three stores. (cough tj maxx/marshalls cough) I literally go to them for EVERY. THING. Their athletic clothing obviously being my favorite.

My point is, you can feel your best even if you don't have the flashiest clothes. You can work out just as hard and great as the next lady in your $12.99 yoga pants. Your clothing doesn't define who YOU are. You are a mom. You are strong. You are beautiful.

Thanks for reading!

MOVE IT MAMA | My favorite playlist to work out to

I NEED music during my work outs, its a must. On any ole regular day I am a avid country music listener. I grew up on it, its basically in my blood- but sometimes you cant get pumped up listening to Carrie Underwood or classic 90's tunes (my fave!).

 Depending on what I am working out that day my genre of music changes.  I have a playlist on my phone that has a little bit of everything from Creed to Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus to Britney Spears. Super random but sometimes its just what I need.. 

I also use pandora because I can type things like "twerk" in and an entire station of rump shaking music will pop up to ensure I get through my squat routine. I mean, have you worked out and listened to Big Sean "A$$, its life changing haha! It also helps because I do alot of booty exercises on my leg day as well, so it makes it fun. I promise, the next time you are doing squats or anything booty related use this pandora station. Its also a great mind to muscle technique. 

I find when doing arms, back and chest that I enjoy listening to things like Five Finger Death Punch, Creed, and similar sounding bands. It helps push me through when I get worn out quickly on these days.

Country music is still and always will be my favorite genre to listen to even though I really enjoy tons of other types of artist. Now that I have two toddler girls I spend a lot of time singing "let it go" or "Moana", but hey- they love it so I guess Im doing okay! 

Quick tip for my fellow momma's out there. If you search on itunes or even pandora "Jammy Jams" or "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Rockstar" a ton of popular songs have been remade into lullaby's for little ones. Since we co-sleep this is something we listen to every night in bed. Its pretty awesome, give it a try! :)

Thanks for reading, and as always leave me a comment! I want to know what is your favorite type of music to work out to?

Feed me Friday | Eating better while working out

Who loves to eat, raise your hand! (hand raise) Who loves to eat junk, fast food, candy, cake.. did I miss anything? (Double hand raise!!) Let me tell you, I love pizza and pretty much every carb on the face of this planet. But when starting my new healthy lifestyle I knew I needed to take a break from my terrible eating habits. 

To be VERY clear-- I do not diet. I have changed my eating habits for two reasons. One. I wanted to see a change in my body and I couldn't do so shoving burgers down my throat (let's be real hahaha). Two. My Crohn's disease desperately needed it. Also, I'm extremely lazy when it comes to cooking so meal prepping for a week makes my life sooo much easier! 

Once I started eating better it became almost like an addiction because I started FEELING better. Finding recipes on Pinterest, trying to "out do" my meals from the week before. I will admit, I don't enjoy the actual PREP process but it pays off in the end. 

Trust and believe I still have my cravings for sweets/pizza and I do give in. Because I want to have a happy relationship with food. I try to have balance,  if I have done well with my workouts and eating I will treat myself. Or if I eat something from fast food I make sure to do a little extra cardio in the gym that day or try to do heavier weight.  

Below are some of my FAVE recipes that make delicious lunches and dinners! I usually fast for breakfast to give my intestines rest, but I have a super good Greek yogurt recipe I'll share with you! 

Two of my favorite go to meals are:

-crack slaw 

Low in carbs, high protein and taste REALLY good. If you like egg rolls try this!! There are so many recipes online, just google "crack slaw" and boom!

-Taco bowls 

Who doesn't love chipotle?! Make these when you have a hankering for Mexican food. Brown rice • Shredded beef or chicken • Black beans & corn • salsa • Avocado 

For breakfast I like Greek yogurt mixed with a little cheesecake pudding mix, with strawberries and granola. You'll love it, it's so good! 

I am always looking for new recipes to try, leave me a comment letting me know some of your favorite meals! 

Thanks for reading!