I Surrender | Living with a Threenager and "Terrible Two" Year Old

Y’all- I have the best kids, ever. They are compassionate to others, caring, have amazing manners for their age, CUTE but don’t let that stuff fool you, they. are. crazy!

I am home all day, every day, with my two toddler girls. Kyler is three and Charlee is two. You’d think it would be a smooth, simple task. That they would keep one another busy playing, watching their favorite princess movies, dress up, ya know all the normal things toddlers SHOULD do. Nope. Not these girls.


I am proud to be raising kinda independent young girls. I say kinda because they do rely on me for many things like food for survival and ensuring they wipe their butt properly after using the bathroom. But I think I get independent and headstrong confused when it comes to these two.

Before I became a mother I never knew how quickly I could be mentally over ran by toddlers. Physically at times too! They are master minuplulators, extremist, ticking emotional time bombs. And I have TWO of them walking around my home. DAILY! #jesusfixit

My three year old, bless her heart. She keeps me in line. She is my stubborn, older than her years, stern but sweet girl. She will say something so sweet like “mommy, you are the best mommy ever!” (Seriously, her exact words one time. #swoon) but then whip back at me with “you are so mean!” as hot tears run down her face because I forgot to get her a glass of milk for the seventh time this morning. She does things like color on walls or put eye shadow on our couch but blame her baby sister. Grabs toys out of her sister’s hand but profusely says sorry when she is caught. Has AT LEAST one PMS worthy mental break down a day leaving me wondering for my own sanity.

The two year old, lord help me.  No like for real. Help. This child y’all. She keeps me on my toes. She is tiny and MIGHTY! Not scared of a thing in the world. I used to see articles about children being found outside after wandering out of the home, and judge the parents. Like, how could you not know your kid left the house. Charlee gave me clarity on this. She will walk out of the house to go see the cat next door with no regard to strangers. Run out into the parking lot just because she knows it makes me crazy, and laugh as I chase her. If I ask her to do almost anything she puts her little finger up and request “one second!” She can climb pretty much anything. Walls, backs of couches, counter tops. If you see a news report about a young mother having a heart attack it was me! She demands coffee almost as soon as her eyes open, and lord help me if we are out of creamer that day. (Her version is milk with a splash of coffee cream)



Once you get these two together is a done deal. They will fight. Play. Run around the house. Gang up on me. Demand YouTube slime videos until they eventually pass out on the couch together. These girls are not for the faint of heart. They are hilarious to watch and be around and I am so blessed they are mine. No day is the same, each presents its own challenges and I question my sanity on the regular. They fight, they cry- a lot, they whine, and I contimplate waving the little white flag to surrender. Then I remember, they are looking up at me as an example. I need to teach them things like patience, understanding, and the list goes on. So yeah, they drive me absolutely crazy from day to day, but I cant imagine my life any other way.

Gym Child Care For The Win

I had my first baby in 2014 and when she was about nine months old I began going to the gym with my husband. We signed up, excited to start and impressed with what the child care LOOKED like. We loaded up on our first day and I never knew the nightmare we were about to encounter. The women running the daycare in the gym for whatever reason would not speak english to us, we knew that they COULD but for whatever reason they chose to speak to us and our daughter in Spanish. Weird, right? Our daughter had a complete meltdown, and that was the day I decided no more day cares. I gave up going to the gym because I was not going to put her in that situation again.

My husband requested they paint her face as Braveheart. 

Flash forward to this year. We started going to the Gold's Gym in our town. The gym is great but the child care is what won us over. THEY. ARE. AMAZING. They know our daughters by name, they console them if they are upset, they do crafts, they play movies and have a ton of toys for the kids. My favorite thing though is every day they have a special activity. Like, face paint Friday's and pajama day Saturday. We love it. Our six month old also started going, and yes some days its hit or miss with him because he is a teething, temperamental mess lately but they are just as great with him. They even have work out activities for the kids on Sunday's and a mommy and me class for baby-toddler ages. The amount of thought that went into this child care is very impressive. Its so much more than sitting them in front of a TV or in a room full of toys. The teachers are interacting with the kids, they are helping them make crafts, they are doing everything they can to make sure mom and dad get the time in to get a great work out.

Every day leaving, she goes to the weights and does squats. 

It has been really fun going to the gym as a family. Our daughters get excited to go and play which helps hold me accountable for my work out that day. Its something they look forward to doing, and they are watching us better ourselves which in return is teaching them the importance of exercise.

I encourage ALL moms to find a gym with awesome childcare. You don't have to sit at home and put your health on the back burner like I did. There are great gyms that provide good child care. If you don't like how something is being done, or how your child is being treated speak up and voice your concern. Before I was quite and timid- now- you better watch out when it comes to my babies. I haven't had any problems at our gym, our girls love going just as much as we do! If you are at Fort Bragg I urge you to try Gold' Gym of Hope Mills! The gym is great and the childcare is even better!

Things Military Family's Need Civilians To Know

There are so many myths and tales out there when it comes to the military and their families.  It can be really frustrating to try to explain our "benefits" and why we have them to people. Trust me, there is a reason behind everything we receive, which honestly isn't much and nothing to be seriously jealous of. But if you find yourself green with envy, remember you can always visit your local recruiting office and sign up to receive the same things we get. There is also a level of ignorance when it comes to comments people make about military life, things people probably wouldn't ask or say to joe-blow on the street.

1. Yes- we get a housing allotment, and free health care. But its nothing to write home about.

What you probably don't know is that without that housing allotment there would be NO WAY a lot of us would able to afford to pay rent. Have you ever seen the base pay for a soldier? Google it, and then let me know what you think. There is not always enough houses on post for soldiers and their families, leading majority of families to live off post. Even if you choose to live on post, the military takes that housing allotment back. The healthcare. Yes, we get free health care but that means ONLY going to military clinics, ONLY going to military hospitals, NO urgent care visits allowed, NO specialty doctors with out a lengthy referral process. Its not that great. 

2. STOP asking us "what if he dies over there?"

First of all, its completely RUDE and uncalled for. Every wife who sends her husband off on a deployment is fully aware of the possibility that he is not coming home. Its a mental battle that we deal with and have to push to the back of our mind. Please, for the love of all things holy, DO NOT remind a spouse that their soldier may not come home. It would just as shocking if we were to ask you "what if your husband dies today?" while working a garbage truck shift. Catch my drift?

3. We DO NOT get paid for having children. 

Although I wish we did, diapers are expensive! ha.  But no, this is a total myth. I am sure many people believe thats why I have shot three babies out back to back, but the only thing we get for them is a bedroom upgrade in post housing. 

4. Its not a glamorous life that we live. 

Military life is not a ray of sunshine. A lot of the time wives are alone, raising babies, keeping the house going while their husband is away. Even if your husband is home the likely hood of seeing him a ton is slim. Between field problems, ranges, training, and the list goes on, our husbands are gone more than they are home. Now, can you imagine marrying someone and knowing their job comes first, ALWAYS. Its not an easy pill to swallow. Plans get ruined so you stop making them. Parents miss birthdays and holidays, even births of their children. Soldiers get stressed out about work or even PTSD which causes problems in marriages. Its not always an easy ride for us.

5. Moving around the world is not as fun as it looks. 

A lot of people are envious about the places we get to travel, and yes I agree, the military can send you to some really cool places. Now remember that after about three years you will come down on orders to move again. Usually right as we get used to the place we are living, have made good friends, the kids are in school, we maybe even have a decent job. You have to pack up, leave and start all over. Again, and again, and again.  It can be exhausting and taxing on friendships, not to mention if you are extremely far away from family it could be years until you could plan a visit. 

6. Our soldiers love their country.

Even if you are bitter about the life we live, our soldier is still going to defend your right to feel that way. He will still wake up, lace up his boots, put on his maroon beret and walk out the door away from HIS family to protect YOURS. They will never give up on America and the freedoms we have. 

Soldiers didn't set up a list of demands upon joining the military, the government decided what benefits they would receive. Before you judge a military family for having something you don't, take a step back and maybe think to yourself the many reasons WHY they have those. A housing allotment and free health care are NOT worth someones life, but thats the wager we are living with.

That time I tried a spin class

 Okay, story time friends. A couple years ago, early in my marriage I was going to the gym to kill time. I didn't have a job and we just moved to a new Army post that had an awesome gym. One day, for what ever crazy reason I thought I would try a spin class.

Biggest.
Mistake.
Ever.

I thought it would be easy. I mean, it looked easy enough. Get on the bike. Pedal, sweat, go home. I was wrong, y'all. So, so, sooo wrong.

First- I walk in and I'm already intimidated. There is a man in the front with all his biking gear on and a microphone taped to his face.
"Pick a seat in the back, that way no one can see you" was my logic.
Luckily there were still a couple bikes back there, I think a few other ladies had my same idea.
I throw one leg over and go to straddle this contraption. OUCH! Wtf, did I just sit on a cement block?! Oh- nope, just the seat. The extremely SMALL seat, at that.
If I wasn't dedicated at the time I would have walked out right then, those seats were not made for woman with butt cheeks I'm convinced.
So the lights dim (thank you Jesus) and I board the struggle bus, destination - Fitness Hell.
The man yells something in the mic that I can't comprehend and all the ladies start to pedal. Oh got it.. we're starting.
Ah, just like i thought easy peasy. Then he mumbles something again and the women cheer.. and begin to stand up while pedaling. I hadn't done that motion since I was a child. While I tried to figure out my balance they start going up and down. Up and down. While pedaling. Like it's easy or something. My legs were on FIRE! I could barely hold myself up.
When I tell you this next part, I am not even kidding.
I looked around, looked at the door, looked at the instructor (who was probably laughing at me on the inside) and decided this was my time to get out of there. Spin was not for me.
How do I walk out of here with out looking like a total joke since we're not even five minutes into the class. Legs still on fire, probably about break off, I decide I can't take anymore.
I causally get off my bike, the other women are still having a blast, spinning away, as I try to invisibly walk out.
The instruction says- "hey! Where ya going!"
Seriously. Insert biggest eye roll ever.
I'm on the spotlight. Now all these biker chicks have undivided attention on me and have stopped cheering.

"Oh, I'm just going to use the bathroom" as I slide out of the door and book it down the hall. Well, probably more like waddled from a mixture of the stone seat I had sat on and the assault my legs just took. I guess I should have told him I was going to use the bathroom.. at my house.

And that is how my first spin class went. All two minutes. Not an exaggeration, that's the time. They had a huge digital clock in the room. Yep, two minutes of my body screaming "why are you doing this to me!" It felt like an eternity though.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Spin class is not for me. It's not just like riding a bike. It's not relaxing. It's for crazy people, who enjoy unusual torture.

Five reasons you need a gym buddy

If you have ever tried working out alone you know it can prove to be a challenge at times. At least it is for me! I know there is no way I could ever get a decent work out in by myself, especially since I am still learning so much about lifting. I would be all over the gym, literally. Bouncing from machine to machine. Thank the good lord for husbands who gym! Mine has become my favorite gym partner.

You need someone to push you.

We all have our days when our head is just not in it, you need that person who is going to motivate you and push you to finish. Who will help you set new personal records and drive you to be better than you were yesterday.

Sometimes you'll need a spotter. 

If you are going hard in the gym chances are at some point you are going to need a spot. Don't be crazy and hurt yourself trying to out do it, if you need help getting the weight up ask your friend to spot you! Heck, even my husband ask me to spot him here and there- I am not confident in the fact that I could be of any help if he needed it, but I think its just a mental thing for him when he is going REALLY heavy. 

You can learn new techniques. 

Everyone does things a little different than the next person. I have learnt SO much from working out with my husband. While I love working out with him, I am eager to meet new people and learn things from their work out. 

Accountability. 

Its easy to give up on yourself and goals when its only you watching. Having a person to hold you accountable helps a TON! A gym friend will be there to make sure you don't bail on working out that day because they are counting on you to go with them. 

Its a good time to catch up. 

Life gets hectic and some times its hard to make time to see our friends. Working out with them makes this a bit easier to do. You are getting your exercise in to be physically healthier and your getting time to socialize with people you love which helps you mentally. Killing two birds with one stone. 

Maybe you are the type of person who enjoys working out alone, which is totally fine. I personally KNOW I need a gym buddy, I am much more productive when I have some one there to help push me through out my workout. Plus, when you spend all day home with toddlers, you NEEEED some adult conversation while lifting some heavy weights. Which ever you prefer, the important part is that  you got your work out in.

Drop a comment below, which do you prefer? Working out alone or with a partner?

We all struggle.

Life is not always easy. There are obstacles in every aspect of living. Whether its fitness or mental, mothering or wifing, challenges present themselves. With social media these days it is easy to only show the amazing things going on. We get to show our highlight reel of our everyday life. What we don't show are the struggles.

I may seem to have it all together, all the time- but I promise you that is SO far from the truth. I struggle to love myself sometimes, I am sure just like many women do. Its hard to remember that I am in the gym for progress and not perfection. I don't always eat the best or right things for my body or fitness goals. My marriage is not rainbows and cupcakes twenty-four-seven. There are times I am SURE my husband will pack up and leave. My kids call me mean mommy here and there, okay, daily.

But.
You know what.

Its not how we struggle, its how we overcome.

You are what you think, ya know, just like eating. You HAVE to put positive thoughts in your head and KEEP them there. I for one know how hard this can be to do. I still am learning how to perfect this. We cant dwell on things that are going wrong, what we can do is look for the positives in every situation and a solution.

You have to make the choice to either MOVE in a better direction or stay stuck in negativity. You are going to have bad days, that is just human nature. How you choose to over come them though, thats a personal choice.

Its only Wednesday and this week for me has already been a doozy. I woke up this morning ready to throw in the towel.. with everything. My head was full to the brim of every negative thought a person could think. But, I had to make the choice. Was I going to sit around and feel sorry for myself over trivial things, or was I going to find a solution and make the best of the day?

I went with the latter. I hope you do too when you find yourself having a crappy day.

Mental Health Day

I have dedicated the day to being lazy and mentally recovering. My son is sick with pneumonia. Sunday night I ended up having to take him into the emergency room for a crazy high temp. We didn't get home until four in the morning, and then my girls were up at seven to start the day. Luckily my sister came to help and let me rest a bit but today I still feel a little "hungover" from being sleep deprived. I am not the type of person who shuts down when they are tired at first, I become WIRED and then I crash- for a couple of days. Its horrible. So today I don't have any informational fitness advice or witty mom humor. I am a walking mombie.  Talk to you guys soon, and I promise it wont be long! 

Mommin aint Easy, baby.

Day in the Life of Stay at Home Moms

The struggle is REAL! I have three children, three years old and under. And while everyone may think my days are spent frolicking in the park on our latest play date or eating bon-bons on the couch while my children quietly play in the next room, I assure you ... THAT. IS. NOT. THE. CASE.
My two year old insist on giving me a heart attack daily and my three year old is a walking mess of emotion. If one isn't climbing the bookshelf, the other is hysterical because she has nipples. There is no in between, it's one chaotic mess after another. All day long. My only saving grace of sanity is a chubby five month old who throws up on me every twenty minutes.
If this doesn't paint the perfect picture of craziness in my life well enough for you, let me break it down.
7:00am The baby usually wakes up. He is a pretty happy baby, so I let him lay in the pack and play in hopes the older spawns will sleep until 7:30 or 8:00. Sometimes I sleep with them, other times I go to the bathroom alone. The only opportunity I'll have all day likely.
8:00am The girls are up. I beg them to eat something for breakfast. They refuse. Only a cup of milk and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse reruns we've been watching for two years will do.

8:30am they are distracted enough that I can pick up around the house.. I usually get everything cleaned up until I hit the laundry bomb that exploded in my room.
8:31am Close the bedroom door and consider burning the house down so I never have to do laundry again.
8:35am decide against arson... today.
9:00am Remind myself I need to eat breakfast.. feed the baby, bribe the girls into breakfast. Still forget to feed myself.
10:00am One is begging to finger paint. The other is running around naked. We negotiate to color instead.

10:30am Silence in the playroom. Baby asleep on my chest. The instant mom intuition kicks in- they are up to no good.
10:32 summon oldest into playroom. Marker covers her from toes to nose. In runs the little one, she's blue.
11:00am Wipe both off with 2736282 baby wipes, and now their starving from refusing food earlier. Time to make their favorite meal, "I don't like that!".

12:00am Somedays they eat lunch, other days they each couch snacks. Ya know, the little bits that fell into the cracks.
12:30am Every toy that I cleaned up earlier is back in the living room. Milk spilled in the kitchen. The dog is eating their lunch. Why do I even clean?

1:00pm 3:00pm FORCED NAP TIME. Aka mommy heaven, lots of baby brother chest snuggles. Reality television shows and all the food I didn't want to share with the vultures.
3:05pm The spawns awaken. Cranky.
3:05-3:25pm Cry about everything while I attempt to figure out what exactly is wrong.

3:30pm Trolls. Moana. Minions whatever tickles their fancy and a smorgasbord of snacks to calm the hangry storm.
4:00-5:00pm Somewhere between this time my husband comes home and everyone acts like little angels because, well..Daddy is awesome.
5:30pm -7:00 We get ready, go to the gym and I get TWO glorious hours of alone time, time to take my aggression out from the terrors of toddlers. Yet I oddly miss them? What is wrong with me!

7:30pm Dinner time. If they are starving they will eat. But it has to be the food off MY plate. Their food is for the dog, duh.
8:00pm Bath time, again. The easiest part of my day. Unless of course the little one needs her hair washed. Then it's like alligator wrestling in my very own bathroom. Maybe I could start charging an entry fee and inviting others?

8:30pm We roll into bed and listen to "you are my sunshine" on repeat. For. Thirty. Minutes. This is when the two year old wants to spill all her secrets in her special toddler language, wake the baby up, and then throw a huge fit so she can cry herself to sleep.
9:00-10:00pm mandatory stay up even though I am exhausted because I need some silence for my sanity, time.
If you see me crying in the corner of my bathroom waving a white flag, join me or hug me- just don't judge me! This gig is hard. Mommin' ain't easy, baby.

Pits and Peaks

Another week is over, and here I am blogging away my time avoiding house work and laundry. Does anyone else HATE laundry as much as I do? I seriously avoid it at all cost.
The PITS of my week.

-Trying to decide a housing community we want to live in on post.

-The stress that comes with moving.

-Not being at the beach this weekend like we planned.
-We had to start buying 9mo clothing for our big boy. I'm not ready for him to be growing this fast!

The PEAKS of my week.

-We had a great BBQ at the pool with our friends and family.

-Colt is sleeping better this week.

-The girls have been in pretty good spirits and fun to be around.
-My younger sister and nephew came down for a weekend visit. It was fun to watch the kids play together.
-We are loving Big Brother this season!
There wasn't much that went on this week. We decided to move into housing on post since our lease is ending soon, we had a few appointments to go to, and other than that it was a very chill week. We took some time off the gym because I wasn't feeling well a lot of this week. Today starts the work out week over for us though, so leg day it is!

Adjusting as a Mother

Whether you just had your first baby, or your third there is definitely an adjustment period women go through as they transition into a mother.  It can be easy for some momma's and super challenging for others. I have been on both of these sides.

With my first child, I had a very easy pregnancy (looking back in hindsight) and in my opinion a very chill little baby. *wish that would have carried over into the toddler years! ha!* She put herself on a routine and schedule that was easy to follow, I was never sleep deprived and for the most part she made becoming a mother very easy. I thought to myself, "what are all these women complaining about, babies are easy!". Even though I was doing it alone due to a deployed husband it really was not a huge adjustment for me. If you think I am just bragging, keep reading, I promise it was not always this easy for me.

Our second baby presented a few challenges being premature. While we were lucky that she was perfectly healthy and just came early- the girl hated to sleep, and she still does! This is when I started to realize what other moms were talking about. EVERYTHING that was easy about Kyler, was hard about Charlee. Complete opposites to say the least.

For me, going from ONE child to TWO was not learning how to get out of the house on time, or getting them to nap together. It was about learning to spread ALL my love from one little girl to now TWO. I remember laying in the hospital bed hugging Kyler before I had Charlee and this HUGE wave of guilt rushed over me. Almost as if I was doing something wrong, or betraying her. Of course I loved Charlee, she is my child but I had to learn how to share my love and attention that was once only focused on a blue eyed little girl. I had to learn a new baby and their quirks, I had to teach my toddler that she was a big sister and we don't throw apples at our baby sister's head. This was me adjusting into a mother of two.

The real kicker was baby three. Although I didn't feel the guilt I did before, this time I was ready and excited. What I didn't know was that I wasn't really ready. I was excited the entire pregnancy to welcome our baby boy, Colt, into our family. Our girls knew a baby was coming as my belly grew, they went to ultrasounds with us and got to excited to hear his heartbeat. It truly was a magical thing to witness the innocence of a toddler's excitement over a new baby.

I had my son when my husband was deployed, AGAIN. Colt is the easiest baby I have ever had. He sleeps well, he breastfed well, he didn't fuss. I was blessed again. What I wasn't ready for was the overwhelming feeling of pressure. Taking care of two toddlers and a newborn alone is very, very trying. I couldn't get anywhere I needed to be on time. I was constantly feeding one kid, changing the other, calming one down, making snacks for another. I was overwhelmed to say the least. VERY overwhelmed.

I stopped going places if I didn't need to. I
started eating and feeding my girls A LOT of fast food. I'd leave to go to the store just to get away from them almost every chance I got. I would think about my husband and cry. Honestly, I did a lot of crying. I could be pumping my breast and burst out in tears. I was in over my head, but I wouldn't admit it to anyone. I have family who lives with me but I felt like a burden to ask for help. I would loose my temper with my girls over stupid things. I hated who I was becoming and no one knew it but me. Looking back I realize I had some PPD.

I was very lucky that those feelings passed, my husband came home from deployment, my hormones leveled out and today my days are much, much smoother. Do I have hard days? You bet your tail I do! I have a almost two year old who thinks our home is a obstacle course, and a three year old who I am sure is PMS'ing (she comes by it honest). My saving grace though is the unconditional love I get from those turds. Lord knows they don't take it easy on me, but I am keeping up some how.

We portray becoming a mother as this beautiful process, and while it totally is- its okay to admit that sometimes its NOT always pretty. Its not always easy, we do struggle. The adjustments are not the same for everyone, and thats OKAY. I think of myself as a pretty seasoned momma, and even I had a learning curve when it came to being a mom of three. Hell, one I am still learning about.

At the end of the day though, you are exactly what your child needs as a mother. No one could ever do a better job than you. Being a mother will never be easy, there are things I am sure we will be adjusting to for years to come. So whether its your first or third, be easy on yourself and ask for help when you need it.

sunday | Pits and Peaks

I think I am going to dedicate my post on Sunday's as a review of the week. The pit and the peak of things that happened around here. As you saw in my post from yesterday, Saturdays will be "Small Biz Saturday" and will feature different BOSS ladies that I know running their own home based businesses. The cool thing about these post will be the stories each lady has behind her business, their WHY. So I hope you stick around to read their stories and maybe you'll find something new to try when it comes to a small biz! 

The PITS

-My husband had to spend his Saturday doing funeral detail for a veteran who passed away.

-I have two kids teething which leads to grumpy little ones.

-Doctors appointments for my Crohns Disease. They are always a pain in the butt. Literally.

-The heat. Even though I grew up in the desert, I dont enjoy 99% humidity and 90 degree weather.

-I didnt get to go to the gym near as much as I would have liked to. 

The PEAKS

-We had a BLAST at the Fort Bragg Fourth of July celebration! They had an awesome Golden Knights jump and flag/cannon presentation. Fair food and the best part- a Chase Rice concert. Yes lawd. We walked back to our car directly under the fireworks, it was a neat experience to see them that close, but loud- very, very loud. 

-My Crohns Disease is being managed very well with my new medication. My inflammation levels were normal. 

-We started looking for a new home, goodbye apartment living!

The great thing about 'weeks' are you get to restart them, what was your week like and what are you doing to have more peaks than pits? I am going to be sure I work out more this week and try to stay cool by the pool!

Four reasons you should start working out TODAY

We always hear about how great exercise is for our bodies, and it's true, but it's also good for more than just loosing weight or packing on muscle. There are so many benefits when it comes to working out.

It feels GOOD 

While it doesn't seem like it would, I promise it does. Yes you will get tired, you will be sore but when the work out is done you'll feel great.

You'll boost your confidence 

Obviously. Exercise can improve your appearance which in return you will feel better about yourself. Even if you don't see changes immediately, just knowing that you are taking the steps to a better you is a huge ego boost!

De-stress

I mean, who doesn't want to take their aggression out on some weights? I know this is my husbands number one way to wind down after a long day at work. Being in the gym will boost endorphins and take your mind off daily stressors you may be dealing with.

You are WORTH it 

Your body and health are worth fighting for. Only YOU have the power to make a better you. You have to LOVE you and make the choice to improve what you don't. We all have hard days where we struggle to love the skin we are in, but it's the only one we get. So get in a gym and work on being a better you!

Things I wish I knew about being a mother BEFORE I became one

Being a mom is hard work and I'll be the first to admit that. I am not perfect by any means. I get angry, I yell, and I get overwhelmed. But in that same breathe I am totally consumed by love for my children. One I never knew existed. The days can be long and challenging. There are so many things I was not prepared for.

Like-

A over tired toddler. 

This. This right here. I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Toddlers (atleast mine) thrive off routine. Throw a wrench in the plan and miss afternoon nap time? Ha! Welcome to meltdown town, population two! Did you know toddler girls can cry for two hours because their sister looked at them? Or because you wouldn't let them lick your face? Now you do.

A hungry toddler.  

Sounds like a simple enough fix, right? WRONG! Anything and everything you suggest will result in a disgust reaction. How dare you offer me a cheese stick! No matter how many options I give my oldest daughter I never seem to get it right.

Potty training. 

I thought I had this one figured out. We made the chart. Bought the special potty. Got prizes and treats. Here we are though with a three year old who will find any pull up in the house to poop in. I wish I knew what was so scary about not shitting your pants, but we're still figuring it out ourselves.

The sass. 

When I was pregnant the first time, I had these darling thoughts of my little girl. You know a real charmer. What I wasn't prepared for was the amount of sass a three year old can posses. Threenagers are real y'all and they are scary!

The fighting. 

"She hit me!" "She took my toy" "she's looking at me!"
I remember fighting with my siblings growing up but now I understand why mom ran for cover when we started. She didn't want to hear it and good lord I don't blame her.

Say good bye to privacy. 

I have used the bathroom alone maybe six times since I became a mother. Showers too! Any time I get the chance to hide away from them my first choice of activity is to either pee or shower alone.

The messes. 

Oh. My. Lord. You want to see how fast your house can get turned upside down? Have a kid. I can go to the store for twenty minutes, come home and every toy they own will be scattered around the house. A bag of chips will be dumped and crushed into the carpet. Milk spilled and pooling on the floor. While the toddlers are running around naked. This always happens when said toddlers are left with Daddy.

They want to be on top of you.

Literally 24/7 I have a child on my lap. Hanging on my leg. Begging to be held. Some times three at one time. I've basically learned how to juggle small children. Its like they have a goal to see how many people we can fit onto ONE couch cushion.

The things that come out of them.

I have spent the last THREE years up to my elbows in poopy diapers. Baby spit up is my new perfume. I have spent more time dealing with someone else's bodily fluids than I have my own and there is no foreseeable end in sight. At least-- not anytime soon. 

I know give my babies a hard time, but seriously they are amazing children. They have a wild side that's for sure but man do they love hard! Even on my worst days where I feel like I am failing them in every way, they remind me that to them- I am still the best mommy ever.

Parenting didn't come with a handbook mommas, we are all holding on for dear life. If your babies are healthy and happy you are doing it right!

Just a number | Why I stopped looking at the scale

As women we tend to focus our worth with the three numbers on a scale. We dread stepping on and face them looking back at us. Ive been there, you've been there, some of you may still be there. You probably think people are full of it when they tell you not to focus on what the scale says. Its HARD not to. I know, I have been down the same road. 

After I had my son in February I went to a local supplement store in town for some pre-work out and protein. They had a machine that basically breaks your entire body down. From water weight, muscle mass, fat content- even the weight of each limb! While I was a bit discouraged by my results I knew they wouldn't be great since 1. I wasn't in the gym (yet) and 2. I just had a baby about a month prior. What it did give me was some serious motivation. This test also gives you recommended weight loss to get your BMI in the right range for your height and age.

So, I hit the gym with my husband and began a meal plan. Nothing too strict, I eased myself into it. I began feeling better, and shortly after I was able to fit into a pair of jean shorts from last year before I got pregnant. Do you know what the scale said though- that I hadn't lost any weight. While I didnt let this discourage me because I could start to feel the difference, I know not all women are like me. 

If you begin lifting weights like I am, remember this KEY piece of advice.. MUSCLE WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT! So if the scale doesnt move thats OKAY! Get a body analysis done and track your progress that way. Home scales can be off by a pound or two.

When you start working out, do it because you love yourself. Not as punishment for what your body looks like. There are SO many things we would love to change about ourselves. A year ago, I was desperate to GAIN weight because of my Crohn's disease. Now I am just happy maintaining my health. Remember YOU are worth so much more than any number on a scale. There is no perfect weight or body. The perfect body is a healthy and happy one. 

To the Wife of a Deployed Soldier

My heart aches for you. For I know the true pain you are going through. I know the anxiety of watching your husband pack weeks before and wishing time would either pause or fly by.

I know the dread that the night before brings. Tossing and turning, can't sleep, but not out of excitement. Waking up that morning trying your hardest to keep it together at least until you see him off. The pain of kissing my husband goodbye while our child grows in my belly.

I know how hard it is to TRY to explain to your toddler that Daddy is going away for a long time, and no we can't go see him. I know what it's like to grip the rails of a hospital bed, in labor with out my husband standing by my side. The ache in your heart as you bring a new baby home and he meets his father via FaceTime. Or the bittersweetness of your child starting their first T-ball season but Dad's not there.

How everything in your house will decide its time to combust all at once. The dog will get sick. The kids will go through a huge tantrum/ test their limits phase. The washer and dryer quit working. Your ID card will expire. The frustration of getting a decent internet connection so you can see his face, hear his voice or even something as simple as a text. The rush to get to the post office on a Saturday because you forgot to send out his care package.


The friends who said they'd be there have gone on with their lives while your stuck in pause. Family "understands" but do they really? There is a BIG difference in missing your son, brother, or nephew than missing your HUSBAND. Your Army wife friends are probably the only ally you have, find your tribe and love them hard. But for your sanity, stay off the wives Facebook pages.

To the wife of a deployed soldier. 

YOU are so strong. Brave. Selfless. 

To keep the house going, kids alive, and picking up slack that comes with being a "single" parent. You are STRONG. 

To love a man thousands of miles away, without the promise of a homecoming.
You are BRAVE. 

To be in a marriage where the military comes first, and when he is called upon he must go. For standing by his side and loving a countryman.
 You are SELFLESS. 

People may think that this is what we signed up for. Sure. But we are also human, and you are allowed to feel sad or miss your husband. Do not EVER let someone discredit your marriage or feelings because you knew your husband was a soldier. What they don't understand is- we don't fear the distance. We fear them not returning, and if you are asking me to be okay with that, it's never going to happen. I "signed up" to love a man who sometimes loves his country more. I "signed up" to love a man willing to go to war and die for you.

I know it feels like the world is dragging right past you, and you will never see the end in sight. It's coming. The tears, the frustration, missing him will ALL be worth it the day he steps off the plane and is home again. Until then, hold your pretty little head up and make him proud!

What did I say? | Things I never thought I would have to say as a parent

Y'all.. do you find yourself thinking "Did I really just have to say that" after talking to your children. Ahh, Welcome to my life.

I have two toddler girls who are full of spunk, sass and off the wall weirdness. I could probably write a book with all the things they have said to me or I have said to THEM but a blog post will do!

Here are a few that come to mind, I'm sure there will be plenty more in years to come. And when I say they can be weird- I am not exaggerating. Leave your judgement for a Facebook moms page.

A few mild ones to start us off, probably not too abnormal. I bet you've said them too. 

"Why are you naked?" 

"Don't put your finger in your butt"

"You can't eat playdough"

Not so bad right? Let's get a little weirder. 

"Don't dig in your poop"

"Leave the dogs butt alone!" 

"Don't lick your sister!" 

Now, totally left. I'm probably a lone wolf on these ones. 

"Don't put hot tamales (candy) in your vagina!"

"Stop trying to fart on your sister!" 

"Stop juggling my butt, please!"*

"Stop pinching my nipple!" *

*Disclaimer- the last two mainly happen in the shower. But have been said outside of the bathroom as well. I know, I know. But if you are a mom, you know the struggle and I'm sure have been there as well.

Oh, the beautiful joy of parenting. I hope everyone is having a great weekend! 

Thanks for reading!!