Y'all. The struggle of being a stay at home mom can be SO real. Sometimes this life can become so repetitive, and you feel like you are burning out at both ends of the stick. Trust me, I know. I have been a stay at home mom since I was pregnant with my first child, so roughly 5 years. I have had babies back to back, and my husband being in the military has proven to make this SAHM life even harder some days.
One thing I have learned over the years is you don't HAVE to sink, heck, even drown in this lifestyle. You dont HAVE to loose yourself to your new motherhood adventure. Along the years I have learned so much about myself as a mother and staying home with my little ones.
Find a routine.
I know, most of you moms are probably thinking- yeah, no duh-Kodie! What I mean by 'find a routine' is really, find a routine that WORKS not only for you but for your children. For us, we wake up and head downstairs for breakfast. While the kids eat i use this time to clean up around the house, its the best time of day for me to get this done because they are entertained with cartoons and food. Easy, Peasy! Our oldest is in Pre-K so after breakfast/clean up I use the next hour or so for baths and getting the kids dressed for the day. Most of the time we literally sit at home so this is not something fancy, do not stress yourself over minute things. If we aren’t going anywhere that day we stay in comfy clothes. We drop Kyler off for school and head back home for lunch & naps. Soon after its time for sister to come home from school. And the day goes on with dinner and bed time. Obviously I am not going to go into every step of our routine because honestly, its pretty boring but a routine none the less.
If you feel like your days are just crazy, chaotic and overwhelming I highly suggest implementing a easy routine for you and your family to follow. Tweak it to work for everyone! On days I know that will be busy I do a lot of things the night before. I will clean up the house after dinner, get the kids bathed and clothes picked out, diaper bag packed, etc. I have noticed on days that I have a heavy schedule, trying to get everything ready the day of sends me into panic mode which usually brushes off onto my children. So routine for us is VERY important. We need structure.
Implement a Nap or Quiet Time.
I know this can be hard for some kids, and if you have a child that just doesn’t like to sleep during the day, try doing a quiet hour. I have found that during the day I NEED this time of quietness. I need a break from the sound of cartoons, and bickering over toys (be real, you know you do to!) I have been very lucky in the fact that my kids LOVE to nap, they have all been really easy sleepers, but we are entering the age with my older two girls that some days they choose not to nap. On these days they are allowed to play quietly in their play room or watch a movie upstairs in their room but THEY HAVE TO “Take a rest” as we say. For their sanity and mine. A cranky, over stimulated and tired toddler is not fun for anyone. I promise you that.
Don’t compare your life to other moms.
We all do things differently. For example, my kids suck pacifiers, a lot of my friends kids do not. Does it make them any better of a parent than me, nope! We all do things that make our lives easier, and those things all differ from each family. Stop worrying about what so-and-so are doing in their home and wondering if you are doing it wrong. You’re not. Do what works best for your children and your home. You will drive yourself insane if you worry about keeping up with the parenting trends or what everyone else is doing. Find your parenting style, do what makes your kids happy and stick with what works for y’all.
Remember, Its okay to have bad days.
None of us are perfect, and parenting is not always peaches. Days are going to be hard. Your kids are going to test you, you are going to lose your patience (at least once) and that is OKAY. You are a human too. Sometimes it feels like we are supposed to morph into these perfect women who never get frustrated or upset after becoming mothers and I am here to tell you, that is just not the case. It is okay to feel the emotions of a bad day. Cry if you need to, go on a long drive listening to music to clear your head, anything that works for you- DO IT! But never forget you are an amazing mother and its okay to embrace the way motherhood can make you feel some days! Not every day can be a great day, and thats okay!
This is a job.
I went though the emotions of not feeling like I was doing enough around our home finance wise. After years of sitting home and money being tight its hard not to feel this way. But. We have to remember that we are doing a job, staying home with our kids is our career for now. I am blessed to have an amazing husband who has to remind me of this more often than not. When the bills start coming in, the holidays are around the corner and you are wondering how the heck are we going to pull this together on ONE income, those thoughts of “am I really doing enough” come flooding back in. So I am writing this next paragraph for you and ME! This is a full time job. We clean, cook, take care of children literally 24/7. One day I am sure we will all be back in the work force wishing for these days back, but for now, this home- these babies are our place of employment. And, even when its hard to see- we are doing enough!
So, for any stay at home mom out there struggling to see her worth, or keep her head above water. Remember these few tips and that you are doing a great job!
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