Life with an autoimmune disease

I woke up one day in 2014 and my body had changed. No longer could I describe myself as a "healthy" twenty five year old. My body decided it was time to start attacking itself in the form of an autoimmune disease. Crohn's. 

At first I had no idea what I had, I just knew I was using the bathroom a lot and loosing weight. My days are still a lot like this, but now I'm using the bathroom while two toddlers dig through my make up bag as I beg them to put my Naked pallet down. 

Life with an autoimmune disease is hard. I'm not going to sugar coat it and make it sound like it's not a tough life. Because it is. In more ways than people realize. 

You are tired. ALL. THE. TIME. 

When stuff is coming out of your body as fast as it goes in energy depletes, quickly. Add in being a wife, mother and any other hats you wear. A sloth is literally my spirit animal at this point.  The fatigue is real, yall. 

Weird stuff happens to your body. 

One day you are fine and the next you have a fistula connecting your bladder to your bowels. You have things coming out of places they shouldn't be, and your just praying the Dr is going to fix you. 

People don't understand. Including doctors. 

Everyone thinks they know what's best for you. They read an article and now are qualified to diagnose and hand out treatment advice. It gets really annoying to listen to people tell you what you need to do to feel better. As if you hadn't tried already. Doctors pass you around, afraid to touch you. It is extremely frustrating when you go to the Doctor as your safe haven or ally but they nicely shoot you down. A doctor literally told me to my face "Crohns  is worse than having Cancer". 

You are constantly learning about body. 

What to eat, what not to eat. How much stress you can handle before throwing yourself into a flare. How long after you eat until you'll need a bathroom. The learning curve never ends. 

Coping with no cure.

Have you ever had to live with the thoughts that you are sick and never will get better? That is a rough pill to swallow. Knowing that no matter what you do your disease will never be cured, only managed. Trying to cope with that is pretty depressing some days. 

Lots of procedures and medicines. 

Sometimes I feel like a medical science project. Since there is no cure for my disease I am constantly trying new medicines, having multiple procedures done, surgeries, doctor visits. I should just take up residence in the hospital to save money gas. 

I have a long line of family autoimmunities. My father and sister has psoriasis. My mother possibly has Lupus. I have Crohn's. While each one is different on its own, each one of these conditions take a toll on a persons mental and physical health. If you have a friend or family member who has an autoimmune disease, try to remember to be cautious with your words, too many times have I heard women say "I wish I had your problem" as I dwindled down in weight. Be helpful when you can. I promise were not just being lazy laying on the couch, sometimes we really don't have the energy to get up and get the glass of water we asked for. As much as you think you are helpful and good hearted-  a lot of the time we don't appreciate unsolicited advice about diets, medicines, sales gimmicks or what your cousins brother did to cure his disease. 

Booty, Booty, Booty Rockin Everywhere | Leg Day at Home or in the Gym

I asked friends on my personal Facebook what kind of fitness content they would like to see on DnD and some suggested my favorite work out or circuits I like to do. I don't really do "circuit training" at the gym (even though I do enjoy those types of work outs) because I go with my husband. We focus on a body part each day. My personal favorite being legs/glutes.

Most people HATE working legs, which I totally understand because if you get a great work out in your legs are most likely going to be jello for the next couple of days. I feel sorry for you if you have stairs involved in any of your daily walking after leg day at the gym.

So, as requested below is my routine for legs! You could do this at home or in a gym. You will need resistance bands (I have found some at Walmart and online on Amazon) and weights. If you are doing these at home you could improvise weights with your little ones, I do that often. I have a 17 pound baby, 25 pound toddler and 40 pound toddler, so the weight increase works out well! haha.

In the gym work out:

-I start off with squats, either in the squat rack or smith machine- which ever you prefer. I start out in the squat rack so I can push myself to heavier weight with my husband. Keep it simple, mind your form and I do four sets of ten or until muscle failure.
After those I will move over to the smith machine and do Sumo squats with resistance bands and work my weight up. Sumo squats are basically wide legged squats- so spread your legs out as far as you comfortably can.  While doing this exercise I also do close leg squats- literally what it sounds like. Close your legs together and squat down like your going to sit in a chair. So your set will look like this- 5 sumo/5 close leg= 1 set. I do four sets with weight increments.

-Leg press. This is pretty straight forward exercise. Be sure you are not locking your legs out when you extend. You will be surprised how strong your legs really are even if you are just starting to workout, but be mindful how much weight you add because after squats your legs will be a bit fatigued.  I take it easy on these usually only one forty-five plate because the sled itself is pretty heavy. I do four sets of ten.

-Straight leg dead lift. I have recently just learned how to do these and I LOVE them! They feel so good in my opinion, the stretch in the hamstring is kinda just what I need after a good leg workout. You can do them standing flat on the ground or elevated on a step box for a deeper stretch. You will need a bar, dumbbell or kettlebell with your preferred weight and basically all you do is bend at the waist with your legs straight until you feel the stretch in your hamstrings. Bring it back up to your hips to start another rep.

-Resistance band kick backs/ side kicks. I do these in between sets while waiting for my husband to finish his. I start with low and work my way up to heavy. Place the resistance band around your ankles and just like the name of the exercise, kick your leg back. I don't have a certain amount of sets or reps I do on these, the lighter the weight the more I do and the heavier I do the less. My bands are a thicker width /small looped ones so thats why I place them around my ankles, but if you have the long/skinny ones you can loop it around a pole and place your foot inside the band to do kick backs that way. Side kicks is the same form, instead of kicking backward you will swing your leg out to the right/left side.

For cardio I do anywhere from 15-30 minutes on the treadmill, high incline with resistance bands around my thighs.

There are SO many exercises I am learning and wanting to add to my leg day routine but this one is tested and true. You will be sore- but I promise there will be results. This is my husbands routine minus the kick backs and his legs are awesome.

If you are working out at home try some of these variations. Like I said resistance bands are cheap and you can get them at Walmart! They really will add some challenge to your work out when you cant use weights.

- Resistance bands squats. You can do them regular, sumo and close legged with out weights. Start light and work up to heavy. If you want to add some weight, hold your baby or give your toddler a piggy back as you squat.
-Glute raises. Lay on your back and thrust your hips into the air. My girls LOVE when I have them sit on my belly and do these. Squeeze your butt, ladies!
-Deadlift/Squat combo. You'd need a little bit of weight for this but you basically do a SLD and when you come back up you will squat. I will post a video on here to demonstrate and if you follow me on social media it is on there as well!
-lunges with resistance bands.
-Kick backs, side kicks and leg raises with resistance bands. 

Please, please, PLEASE keep in mind that I am in no way, shape or form a personal trainer or fitness guru. I am just a mom who enjoys working out. With that being said, these exercises are what work for me and what I personally like doing in the gym/at home. These are the things that work for ME. Feel free to try them out and modify what you need to, to accommodate your body and fitness goals.

As with any work out you need some great music to get you pumped up, and on leg day I recommend the "twerk" station on pandora or "crime mob" station. But I mean, what else would you expect from a girl who grew up in North Carolina. ;)

If you try this work out and enjoy it, leave me a comment letting me know your favorite part and how you feel the day after!

Adjusting as a Mother

Whether you just had your first baby, or your third there is definitely an adjustment period women go through as they transition into a mother.  It can be easy for some momma's and super challenging for others. I have been on both of these sides.

With my first child, I had a very easy pregnancy (looking back in hindsight) and in my opinion a very chill little baby. *wish that would have carried over into the toddler years! ha!* She put herself on a routine and schedule that was easy to follow, I was never sleep deprived and for the most part she made becoming a mother very easy. I thought to myself, "what are all these women complaining about, babies are easy!". Even though I was doing it alone due to a deployed husband it really was not a huge adjustment for me. If you think I am just bragging, keep reading, I promise it was not always this easy for me.

Our second baby presented a few challenges being premature. While we were lucky that she was perfectly healthy and just came early- the girl hated to sleep, and she still does! This is when I started to realize what other moms were talking about. EVERYTHING that was easy about Kyler, was hard about Charlee. Complete opposites to say the least.

For me, going from ONE child to TWO was not learning how to get out of the house on time, or getting them to nap together. It was about learning to spread ALL my love from one little girl to now TWO. I remember laying in the hospital bed hugging Kyler before I had Charlee and this HUGE wave of guilt rushed over me. Almost as if I was doing something wrong, or betraying her. Of course I loved Charlee, she is my child but I had to learn how to share my love and attention that was once only focused on a blue eyed little girl. I had to learn a new baby and their quirks, I had to teach my toddler that she was a big sister and we don't throw apples at our baby sister's head. This was me adjusting into a mother of two.

The real kicker was baby three. Although I didn't feel the guilt I did before, this time I was ready and excited. What I didn't know was that I wasn't really ready. I was excited the entire pregnancy to welcome our baby boy, Colt, into our family. Our girls knew a baby was coming as my belly grew, they went to ultrasounds with us and got to excited to hear his heartbeat. It truly was a magical thing to witness the innocence of a toddler's excitement over a new baby.

I had my son when my husband was deployed, AGAIN. Colt is the easiest baby I have ever had. He sleeps well, he breastfed well, he didn't fuss. I was blessed again. What I wasn't ready for was the overwhelming feeling of pressure. Taking care of two toddlers and a newborn alone is very, very trying. I couldn't get anywhere I needed to be on time. I was constantly feeding one kid, changing the other, calming one down, making snacks for another. I was overwhelmed to say the least. VERY overwhelmed.

I stopped going places if I didn't need to. I
started eating and feeding my girls A LOT of fast food. I'd leave to go to the store just to get away from them almost every chance I got. I would think about my husband and cry. Honestly, I did a lot of crying. I could be pumping my breast and burst out in tears. I was in over my head, but I wouldn't admit it to anyone. I have family who lives with me but I felt like a burden to ask for help. I would loose my temper with my girls over stupid things. I hated who I was becoming and no one knew it but me. Looking back I realize I had some PPD.

I was very lucky that those feelings passed, my husband came home from deployment, my hormones leveled out and today my days are much, much smoother. Do I have hard days? You bet your tail I do! I have a almost two year old who thinks our home is a obstacle course, and a three year old who I am sure is PMS'ing (she comes by it honest). My saving grace though is the unconditional love I get from those turds. Lord knows they don't take it easy on me, but I am keeping up some how.

We portray becoming a mother as this beautiful process, and while it totally is- its okay to admit that sometimes its NOT always pretty. Its not always easy, we do struggle. The adjustments are not the same for everyone, and thats OKAY. I think of myself as a pretty seasoned momma, and even I had a learning curve when it came to being a mom of three. Hell, one I am still learning about.

At the end of the day though, you are exactly what your child needs as a mother. No one could ever do a better job than you. Being a mother will never be easy, there are things I am sure we will be adjusting to for years to come. So whether its your first or third, be easy on yourself and ask for help when you need it.