While the Husband is Away | MIlitary #MOMLIFE Chronicles

I live an amazing life. I honestly could not imagine living in any other community, military just runs in my blood. But. With that said, it definitely is not a life for the weak hearted, and to be honest- I can be. Especially now that I am a mother.

Before I had children, my husband leaving wasn't a HUGE deal. Did I miss him? Hell yes. Were things challenging? Of course. But I knew I would be okay, that I would get through it and he would come home soon.  Throw a clueless, three year old crying for her daddy and there is nothing you can do about it and things change. DRASTICALLY. Time passes much differently for children versus adults. What we see as a short time away can feel like an eternity to a toddler.
I am a mother to three, two toddler girls and one baby boy. Our son obviously does not notice much, but the girls are very sensitive when it comes to Daddy leaving. So many times while he is gone they ask for him, cry at night when he isn't there in bed with
us, and the list goes on, and on.
As we get ready this week for him to leave again it weighed on my heart to write about the bittersweet moments of being the parent to a military child.

It never gets easier explaining to a child that their parent is going away, and no they can not go with them. It seems they cant process that daddy is leaving, which in a way I guess can be good- but on the other foot it gets tricky for me to explain that he isn't coming home for a while. If you have a three year old at home you know all to well that the questions never end and their new favorite word is "why?". No matter how many times I have explained why my husband had to leave, she still asks over and over, why?

We are upfront about where he is and what he is doing. If he is going away for school or training, we tell her. If he is deploying, we explain to her where he is going and why he has to be gone for so long. We chose to tell her the truth (well, the watered down version) so she grows up KNOWING what her daddy does. Others may not like this approach or use this method in their home, that is okay too! Our three year old is SMART, like too smart for her own good. So telling her daddy was just at work did not cut it for her. We would go on post and she would want to see him at work, and then Id have to explain that he is not there, its just easier for us to be upfront with her. The pride though my little girl has for her daddy and her country is worth every ounce of heartache we have to endure when he is gone.

It can be challenging for me too when he is gone.. you know that old wives tale about how if things can go wrong while he is gone, they will? Yeah this applies to me but with my children. Daddy leaves and something triggers in them that they need to loose their minds at least once a day until he comes home. This can be in the form of tantrums, climbing the walls, pouring ranch all over the kitchen floor, or wetting the bed. That list can go on, and on. I am not a regular morning coffee drinker, but when my husband is gone, fill her up! Someone usually gets sick, including me. Life all together just gets complicated. Super. Duper. Complicated. You would think by now I would have some sort of a system that I follow when he is gone, but nope. I fly by the seat of my pants. If you are military wife and have mastered a "dad is away system" I long to be like you, teach me your ways.


Being a mom is hard enough as it is- for anyone! Add in a military schedule and a couple toddlers, you are in for a ride! The best part though has to be when they are reunited. I get teary eyed the second they embrace and I hear them squeal "daddy!" If you are enduring time away from your spouse and parenting solo around the house, my heart is with you and my prayer is for strength and patience cause, girl, your gonna need them BOTH!

The Whirlwind of a Military Marriage

I have been married to my husband for almost six years. SIX- and there has not been a dull moment since. Like a lot (maybe even most) military couples, we got married quickly. When I say quickly I mean, I have known my husband longer NOW than I did when the day we eloped.

We started dating and both knew instantly that this was it for us, we wanted to be together for the long haul. The life of the military though does not always give you the option to date for a while before marriage. Soldiers come down on orders quicker than you know, its a career that is hard to grow complacent in since it is ever changing. Duty stations change, deployments pop up, you catch my drift? While none of this was really happening around the time we got married, we both knew the life well enough to know that it COULD happen. Shortly after being married, it did. We moved to Texas and started life as a young couple. Its weird to think that if we didn't jump the gun and get married, where would we be today? Would we have dated long distance and let it fizzle out? Would we have three kids and a handful of memories? Maybe, maybe not.

Military marriages look like a fairy tale to most on the outside, and let me tell you they can be. All the homecomings, the balls, the handsome man in a dress uniform.. but a lot of people don't think of the craziness on the other side.

Soldiers are gone, A TON! You get married, probably move away from everyone you know and then your husband leaves too for training. You learn a new town, make new friends, basically start from scratch all while learning to be married, sometimes on your own. Anyone who tells you a marriage in the military is easy is lying. Sure it can be easy being married, but throw in every obstacle the Army can throw at you and it complicates things!

On top of them being gone, there is SO much to learn! Things like the difference between brigade and battalion, a battery and a company, do you want to join FRG or not, your husbands rank and what that means, how to wash uniforms. I almost get a headache thinking back to all the things I had to learn.

Then comes the 'beloved' DEERS photo.. if you are a spouse you know what I am talking about. Shortly after getting married you get your govt. ID card and spend an hour getting ready for the picture, only to get it back and see that NONE of your efforts are showing in that horrid photo. Jesus fix it.

You hear words like "dependa", "tag chaser" cringe and pray people aren't referring to you as one. Meeting new friends feels like your back in high school, only worse this time you are the new girl in town. You miss being home with YOUR friends, YOUR family, YOUR routine.

The great news is- things get easier as you go. You get used to him leaving now and then, and you find a grove you follow in those moments. Well, at least until you have babies and then you beg him not to leave you alone for weeks with the crazies! Or is that just me? Almost six years later and I am still learning things about being a wife, let alone a military wife!